Carla's Online Web Journal

2009-02-03T05:57:00.000-08:00

I MADE IT!!!! I am in sunny Tampa Bay! Of course they are having a cold spell this week....the WHOLE week...but at least it isn't 4-8 inches forcasted! I'll take it.
We spent superbowl at Jose's with Patti And Phil Chalar and a couple of others eating steak, sweet potato and home made apple pie. GO STEELERS! I was the ONLY Steelers fan in the group!!!! It's all good...I knew they would win!
I have also spent a majority of my time doing my certification test with pro PTA...IT WILL BE DONE baye it done by end of this week.
Today I am picking up a rental car to have for a couple days to get around while JOse is at work! I'm gona go see the BOSS..Tim Gardner! I have an interview for Body Tech Mag on line with Roger Cox tonight. We are also supposed to be going to the Blue MArtini to do a little Spanish Dancing...haven't done that in YEARS!!!!
Plans for Saturday are to go to the GASPIRILLA Day parade...allt he years of coming to Tampa and I have never done that before. Thank God the eather will be warming up by then...in the mid-70's.
I have also been up every weekday at 5:30 to go to the gym and train....it's a bit different but once I am up it's cool! Something different about NOT having a whole day of work ahead of you that makes it easier I think!
OK...to al!
l of you up North...stay warm and dry...be careful of the shoveling and I will be praying for SUNSHINE for you and me!!!
Peace out
C

2009-01-28T16:08:00.000-08:00

It's SNOWING AGAIN!!!!! The northesat is snowed in for the 13th time this winter .... I am going to TAMPA!!!! Yes...I can take it no longer...I am u;sing my free ticket and free accommodations and going to the warmth...even a cold spell is warmer than here!!!!!

Can't wait to see my peeps in TAMPA!!!!!

Muah to you all and for those of you I leave behind....I will bring back some sunshine for you!!!!!

2009-01-20T07:06:00.000-08:00

Good Morning!!!
It is a beautiful, sunny, icy day here in the Northeast and I am glued to the history that is happening through the TV. It struck me yesterday that this nation has come so far in My OWN life time!!! I am very proud to be American right now. I hope that America can keep it together and have patience with our new president. Good, bad or indifferent we are embracing a more open mind and change...AS A NATION!!!!
Re-organizing is the name of the game around here...getting plans set for 2009, cleaning out the old and planning for the new. I feel that it is going to be a GREAT year, full of positive changes. I can't deniy that I miss my Mom terribly but everything feels new, EVERYTHING!
My website is going to have a new look very soon and I hope to get my newsletter back in cirrculation!!!
I am personal training out of Gold's gym and being kept VERY busy with that! I won't be taking any new clients as of April as travels will ramp up and I will only be part time in the gym.

I am also on Facebook now as well as myspace...God only knows If I will be able to keep up with all that!!!!
Anyway...realize YOUR BLESSINGS~!!!! They are more than you see!
Hugs
C

2009-01-05T10:56:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

I wish all ofyou who check here many blessings for restfulness, peace and prosperity in this new year! I am looking forward to this year to re-adjust to life...in looking back over this year with all the tragedy it seemed to provide I also realize how it showed me all the blessings I have as well. It's strange but as we get older and venture through this journey there continues to be sooo much to learn and so many things LOOK different as we experience all the joys and pain in life. Without the pain we will never know the joy that life can bring..this I already knew but this past year slapped that one on me again. There were sooo many people taken from us all this year; Of course My Mom, Lana's son, Tony, then Steve Stone, Kenny Kassel..so many many more....through all this loss though I saw so many people who came through with thoughts and gifts ;and prayers and just feelings of love that showed me how blessed I am. I miss my MOther terribly but her death was so much less tradgic then many of my friends who have suffered loss of young loved ones..
My Christmas, although very different, ended up actually very nice. If it wasn't for my boy Jose I am not sure it would have been so pleasant as I was very moody and couldn't figure it out...I guess it's a part of the "process"...I threw a birthday party for my dad with a few friends and family. We had it on New Years Day instead of the 31st which is his actual birthday. I am glad too as the weather was bright a sunny. It was a good celebration for us given our year.

So...2009...I am looking to organize my daily life tasks, get a better idea of how my personal training will work now that I will be able to pay it some attention. I also look forward to traveling for Protan. We will be at all the same shows as last year plus we will be at FIBO in Germany! I am really looking forward to this...I am actually getting to go overseas with this BB thing (in a way)...I always wanted to be able to travel abroad and Protan is giving me that opportunity. I am not sure I will be competing this year...it looks like there is only 1 show that isn't invite only and it's in May. It might be a good thing. My fitness goals are to get in shape for the Arnold to look great in the booth and then from there on in my travels in the industry. I have cooked my chicken and protein pancakes and am starting double cardios again today!!!! Gaining size isn't on the plan this year but getting lean is!!!!

I will be working with a new webmaster as well this year so I will have a new look on my site.. I hope to be able to load the pics on my site on my own and I hope to update pics and travel sections as well as resume my newsletter. I am also in the process of getting certified through the PRO PTA. This is the only program that acknowledges IFBB Pros and has a GI bill. Once I get certified I will be able to certify others! I like the idea of educating people on how to train others...I see so many lazy trainers out there!
I also have a FREE ticket (I volunteered for a bump last year) and I think I am looking to et away for a few days to Florida and Tucson. I hate to not be working but once I start traveling for Protan it will get CRAZZZZY!!!! I think the break from the BAD ASS winter weather will do my soul good...that is the REAL goal this year...HEAL my SOUL!!!!!

So there is alot on the horizon for 2009! I hope you all have thought about YOUR blessings!!!!
Stay tuned and keep visiting!!!
Hugs
C

2008-12-10T17:28:00.000-08:00

Happy Holidays all!!
Today is was pouring rain and about 57 degrees and just a couple days ago it was 11 degrees!!! Something is just not right in the world with the way things are sooo extreme!!! Anyway...Thanksgiving was a real nice couple of days at my aunt's in NH with my cousins around and Dad. He seemed to enjoy himself and we were all very relaxed. I thought about my Mom but it wasn't a sad day...I'll tell you though, putting out some of her Christmas decorations wasn't so easy! It's at the strangest times that I find I miss her and get filled with sadness. I have also noticed that I can't seem to recover from stressful situations in a timely manner. I need a lot more "down time", "alone time"..I haven't felt really like going too far. I don't feel depressed but it's just strange. Maybe it's just the grey winter and cold air?
There is a new personal training company coming into all my gyms, CUSTOM BUILT. I spoke with them about coming on board but after a long week of deliberation I just don't feel ready to go work for someone else right now. I hope to have a good side by side working relationship with them and who knows? Maybe in the future we will talk about it again? The stress of not knowing if I will be "phased out" or not is pretty tough! Hopefully I have enough specialties to keep myself afloat..if not...it's not meant to be!
I will be fine...so far I have!
I will be offereing Christmas specials to anyone sining up for services before January 1st! Contact me on my site and we will get you through the holidays!!!!

The other thing I am looking to do is revamp my site for the new year...keep an eye out for new pics and new format and the reappearance of my newsletter!

2008-10-02T18:20:00.000-07:00

It is with such a heavy heart that I write tonight. I am sitting in my bed thinking about this beautiful fall day and the sadness I felt today at saying goodbye to Steve Stone. It is so strange to think that I won't see him at the "next show"...who would have thought God would take him so fast and without warning. You know I cried more and was full of more emotion on Friday at the Olympia then when my Mom finally passed.
I guess I had many months to deal with the slow passing of my Mom....when she was sick in January I was very overcome with grief and wasn't ready to let her go but as the months passed and she became weaker and more frail I guess I made peace with the fact that I had to say good bye...Steve just vanished. He was there one minute and gone the next...and admidst the tragedy the show "literally" had to go one...and it did...like nothing had happened...that is waht life does when someone dies...it just goes on. It's the strangest feeling really...it's almost like the person didn't matter but we know differently.
The emotion that swelled up in me took me by surprise. There was no holding back tears...they were going to come no matter what I tried to do...today too...driving down, in the church, it didn't matter the tears came...I wondered were they all for Steve or were they left over tears for Mom!!??
I couldn't wait to go home and see Dad..we had dinner, he made lasagna and was waiting for me...he is all I have left in this world really...and I think he is scared too. He is waking up at night looking for my mom or hearing noises...if I am there or my cousin (when she is there) this doesn't happen...maybe I need to move in?
There is ALWAYS something to learn as life unfolds...it doesn't matter how old we are or how much we think we know...the older I get the more I realize how little i know.
I'm tired...I know that...my body feels tired and my mind just shuts down. I am going to Tampa next week for almost a week. I am going to my friend Anna's wedding...she is a cancer survivor. I am going to have a chance to see old friends. I hope also to just take care of me...re -aline myself with God and my being and get grounded. There is a part of me that is excited about the new doors opening up to me and there is a part of me that misses, so much, my past and my mom and the false certainty that I thought I knew.
My heart goes out to Andrea....Steve's wife..I cannot imagine the hole in her heart right now. I pray that God brings her comfort and lgiht.
Enjoy every minute of every day...tell those you love that you love them..don't wait to say what you feel and mean...be kind and patient to yourself and others....Love life..it is a gift
Peace

2008-09-21T07:17:00.000-07:00

Well...it's a grey humid day in Tampa Bay!!!
it's a nice relaxing Sunday after a long day working the HURRICANE BAY bodybuilding show promoted by Tim Gardner. It was an awesome event. Tim pays great attention to detail and his team looked incredible. The physiques, routines, attention to detail are a definate reflection of Tim! I am sure he is proud of them!!!

I expedited this year with Jose Santiago and MIke...they were awesome team mates. The only stressful part of the job was the "technical difficulties " withe sound system....but Jose was right there with a solution to the problem.

It was great meeting new Body Techers and seeing old ones!!!!!

I just love Tampa...looking forward to a day of rest before heading back home and getting ready for the O!!!!!

Check in with me!!!
C

2008-09-17T08:24:00.000-07:00

It is another GORGEOUS fall day in the northeast....my tribute to my MOM in Atlantic City was just what I wanted and I am sooo sure she would have been sooo pleased. I was very happy with my physique..I was sooo dry that I really couldn't even function on Friday and the pictures on Musculardevelopment.com don't do me justice....I was shredded!!! Let's face it though...11th place as good as I can be....just way small for the pors....
Thanks to Colette Nelson for helping me keep it into perspective..."we do this for other reasons" (other than winning)...we just have to remember what those reasons are and it is all good! This trip was totally for my mom and she got me at my best...Steve Stone was nice enough to put her picture ont he stage withme and announce me as giving a tribute to my mother...she would have been crying...between the blinged out suit that CJ wanted me to have to the Big Spender routine with voice over to the spicture on the stage...it was perfect....I did get a bit emotional half-way through and forgot what I was doing but I kept moving and Marvelous Melvin said he never would have known...that was sweet coming from him of the MARVELOUS posing!!!! Congrats also to he and Lisa Aukland for their wins in AC...both genuine, down to earth, cool ass people!!!!!

My PROTAN crew worked their tails off!!! Lena joined the crew this weekend and last...poor Mary, Ike was hitting Houston as she was slaving over the sprayer!!!! Thank God upon return home she found things all intact!!! Big Boss Stacy was in town for this showing an dthe PROTAN model search so that was cool...It's always better when he is around.....I am looking forward to the Olympia....

Today I will be jetting off to Tampa to work the Hurricane. I am also guest posing...and to be honest I have not been eating well...I just can't seem to get full...although I have gained back all the weight that I lost for the show already...I am hoping some of it is water!!! It's unusual for me to have problems getting back to eating right ...but then again this year has been all off!!1 I guess I should just take it easy on myself and RELAX!!!! If I don't feel like eating right or don't feel like training or whatever...take a damn breakm, right!!!! I have gotten my cardio in..and I have taught 2 body pump classes!!! so atleast I have done something...I am sore , tight, creaky....my body needs rest!!!!!

I am hoping that while I am down in Tampa I wll be able to get my clients in the book for October as well as plan my vacation back down to Tampa for about a week of rest!!!!!!!

Peace out and enjoy the gorgeous sunshine today!!!
C

2008-09-11T07:20:00.000-07:00

It is 9/11....7 years from the fated Twin towers collapse...before I feel blessed for this day I honor the heros and pay omage to the families left behind.....

It is beautiful today...it's sunny, clear, dry and very bright with just a twinge of crispness in the air...you can tell that fall is around the corner...I feel so blessed to be here today on my way to Atlantic City to honor my MOM.

I am waiting for NIcki to get here so we can make the drive down to Jersey. When I decided to do this show (after Tampa) it just seemed like the thing I needed to do. As the process continued and the date drew close I found myself overcome by emtion and missing my Mom. It is so hard to believe that she is gone...she was here with me not a year ago. I was packing snacks and loading her O2 tank in the car and wheelchair and this year...I don't have to deal wiht any of that but there is such a hole in my heart..."was she even here?"...Her purse is still on her dresser with money in it...she never wanted to be without a few dollars in her purse..her things are still all over the house....I don't talk to her every day...it's very strange. I look at pictures from last year and it's almost hard to believe that she was on this earth. I hope she is with me...everyone says she is...maybe she is just having a great time in heaven...I truely miss her...it's so strange how life is here...then GONE!!!! FOREVER GONE!!!!!

So let me enjoy this day, RIGHT NOW!!!! that is really all we have....

Safe travels to all this weekend and enjoy the sun
Ciao
C

2008-09-05T04:04:00.000-07:00

Good Morning NYC!!!

I am sitting in the Marriott Downtown where I have spent many a weekend at a Tribeca bodybuilding show as I write this. Out of my window I can see the Statue Of Liberty between 2 big skyscrapers. It's hazy and humid today but very warm. It will never cease to amaze me the wonders that NYC has. Nicki and I drove down yesterday (the time passed so quick with her in the car!) to get ready to work the Team U show. It is spread out as there is no real host hotel and checkins are very informal and held out of a room at the Embassy Suites. Sot here isn't a big fanfare and press converging and all that.

When we went to check in with Stoner and Kimmie Bev Francis was there as well (it's her show afterall) and we started talking about the Ms. Olympia when it was held at the Felt Forum. The joy that lit up her face as she spoke ow this was incredible to see. She is a very humorous engaging woman and it struck me what a special thing I was a part of being able to listen to her up close and personal talk about her competitive years in the mid 80's!!! I am so blessed to be exposed and introduced top the people I have been in this sport. I am really a fan first and competitor second!!!

The numbers are down compared to the last few years but this isn't surprising given the cost of staying in the city. With the way the check-ins were set up we decided to leave some product and go check into our hotel and do cardio. We took a great walk outside through battery park and all up the batter. There are beautiful gardens and walkways and artwork all along the batter, people and family's out with picnics, people walking their dogs, executives outside at the bars after work. It is just full of life. Me and Nicki used out time to catch up and "bond" before busting our butts backstage. It was a nice start to the weekend.

I am going to lay low this weekend except for work...I am really hitting the wall and feel extremely tired and hungry. My muscles and joints are sore...so I know this is almost time to rest now. Hopefully I will get to hang out a bit with Brandie and Tim and that is about it. I also want to have a photo shoot with Dan Ray down at the wall street bull like Kia Greene did in the last MD issue. It was a hot layout with him and the city in the background, all done in black and white!!!! I am in shape enough where it would be impressive and there is no one on the streets on NY Sunday am!!

Well, I guess we get on with the day and see if there will be time to hit the gym before we are backstage with our gloves on!!!!!

Peace
C

2008-09-03T06:01:00.000-07:00

GOOD BEAUTIFUL MORNING!!!!!

I've been up since 5..at the gym now on a break between clients and trying to get some work done. I definately seem to get more done when I stay put for a few hours in one place (hard to do these days).

The weather in the northeast the past couple weeks has been soo beautiful...I wished it could be like this EVERYDAY!!!!! I know that some would say if that was the case then I wouldn't appreciate it when it does get nice but believe me ....I would love to give it a try. I am in such a better mood even if I am dog tired when it is beautiful and sunny. How can one person be so driven by the weather!!!!???

I am definately feeling this last couple weeks of prep for the Atlantic City show. My body is just starting to give out on me...my mind wants to keep going but....I guess it's time for a rest.
Huge congrats out to Brandie Gardner for turning pro in Cleveland at the North Americans by winning the overall masters figure!!!! She was BEAUTIFUL!!!! Also big ups to the other mighty one...Lori "Ripitupbaby" Steele...for taking her class. That's 2 for 2 at the national level...you go gurl!!!! On to nationals???? She needs a mental break and then we will see but if she goes to the ATL expect her to give the lightweights a run for their money!!!!!! Also a huge shout out to Darrell Terrell for looking the best he has ever looked under the tuteledge of Tim Gardner. Darrell took a 3rd in a heavily contested class of heavy weights.....Champions all of them!!!

Nicki comes in tonight and we head to NYC for the TEAM U...it will be a big show as always so I better reserve some energy!!!!
I am looking forward to NIcki coming in as she will be staying straight through till the Atlantic City and then we drive down there.

Me? I am really looking forward to a break...I want to be able to sleep until my body is rested and not worry about being on a schedule!!!! I guess I still have the rest of this month before I can do that!!!! I cannot believe that the summer is ending...it is September and almost a whole new year is peaking it's way around the corner! It was only months ago that Mom was still here with us...I miss her so much, the little things she did every day to make my life easier. She was truly interested in everything I did and I gave her a hard time for asking so many questions!! I have been feeling bad about that...all of a sudden I am wondering if I did enough and was enough for her...I never felt that I was when she was alive and even now in her death..."did I do all I should have" for the one and only person who has been truly interested in me and my life....I don't know why these thoughts are entering in my mind???? I guess I just miss her...I get a little teary alot more often....Dad is getting so much older...life can be hard sometimes. You have to "hold on loosely" as my client said to me today....

enjoy these beautiful September days everyone...enjoy your friedns an family EACH day...really that is all we have...THIS MOMENT!!!!!!
Peace
C

2008-08-24T18:48:00.000-07:00

Hey all!!!!

OK...I have just spent the weekend getting my act together, both in my house and with my NEW COMPUTER!!!!! Yes folks, I had to break down and buy a new computer...mine wasn't running right and it was only a matter of time before I lost everything. So....I went to the Apple Store and bought a MAC. I was really encouraged to do so as I am so technologically challenged. I have taken a couple of workshops this weekend and will bw signing up for one-on-one tutorials once my travel slows down. So far, so good...so hopefully I will be able to be much more efficient in regards to getting on and staying on the internet!!!
This is the last chance I get at organizing my home and life here as I will be traveling every weekend until after the Olympia. I am trying to limit my clients here at home until then so as not to make myself totally crazy.
I also will be competing in Atlantic City to honor MOM. Stacy agreed to let me compete as long as I have the backstage covered..for that I have hired Lena..she has worked with us before and is AWESOME!!!!!
So...back on the diet and cardio wagon as soon as I got home form TAmpa...let's see what happens right...

I have felt my mom more lately, have missed her and keep seeing beautiful butterflies everywhere....you suppose she is here????

Lightweight, Lori Steele, came to see me last night and stayed over. Seh will be going to Cleveland for the North Americans this coming weekend and she looks phenominal!!!!! You big girls better look out she is crazy looking!!! She is exhausted but that is expected...she just needs to keep her head on straight...her body is there!! You go gurl!!!!

I will be leaving Thursday and will get a chance to see Tim and Brandie as they will be there coaching Darrell Terrell in his quest for a pro card. Tim and Team Body Tech had a great showing at the Florida State...but I would expect no less!!!! Tim is da BOSS!!! Congrats to all the techers!!!!
Big shout out to Jose Santiago...not only are you a survivor you are brave....hugs!!!

OK all...go get 'um this week!
Ciao
C

2008-08-10T12:56:00.000-07:00

I really feel like a professional athlete!! I earned my first IFBB $$$ by winning the best poser award at the Tampa Pro last night!!!! It is amazing...I never thought I would have been able to earn money as pro!!!! I'm not gonna be rich from it but it is the principal of it. I have to thank God for bringing me to this place...wihtout his grace there is no way I would have done made this achievement. With all I went through this year and the incocnsistencies in my prep it amazes me that I was able to come in looking like I did. God definately is etching my path with this success and it humbles me.

Tim really put on such a great show!!! Attention to ALL detail...in house banquest, after party, picking up the dignitaries, shuttle service, live music in the lobby, greaqt venue, flowers for all the women...the list just goes on and on...he is such a wonderful host, trainer and friend...I wish he and Brandie so much success and can NEVER thank them enough for ALL they do for me!!!!!!

Being on stqage felt so good...I didn't have the rookie jitters...I felt confident and and a total BLAST!!! I feel like I improved on my posing and the night show was so much fun!!!! I got great feed back fromt he judges and people in attendance. It has lit a fire under me to to go Atlantic City!!!! There was some dead time in between the posing routines and announcing the top 3 so they let all 10 of us have an impromptu pose down...that was fun...the big girls were dwarfing me so I went right between their legs!!!! It was a blast!!!!

The after party ended up being a blast because we were just silly and dancing...Dave won the under 202 and took third in the open. He really gave the big boys a run for their money!! Toney Freeman and Dennis James (1 2 respectively) had to really work around the GIANT KILLER!!!! Nicki, Dave, Kris, Jose , Tania and some other peeps partied at Flyods in the Hard Rock till 4 am!!! It is amazing what alittle Goose and red Bull will do for a girl!!!!!!! We haven't had that much fun after a show in a minute!!!! I also can't thank Krissy Murrell enough for being my B all weekend...she rocks and will be rocking the North American stage in 3 weeks....go Kris!!!!

I wished I could stay in Tampa for an extended period of time!!!! I so need the extra break...I will be here again soon though...the Hurricane is coming up and a wedding in Ocotber!!!!

More later...I'm cooking some rice and beans before I gotta get back on teh diet train!!!!
Peace out
C

2008-08-08T05:09:00.000-07:00

It's a sunny day in TAmpa Bay!!!

I am getting really dry and shredded..my facelooks like a monster...I GUESS I AM READY!!!!! I move on over to the host hotel today to settle in and attend a press conference and do the last minute touches. I have soooo enjoyed my time just relazing here...it's funny that I look at what I am doing as relaxing but...it is to me...no responsibilities of home! I don't caqre if I eat or not..Ifeel still, like I should be going out to do cardio...the rituals that you develop prepping for a show and then they stop...you feel wierd...like something is missing!!

I picked up Fuoad from Canada and Dave and NIcki Henry yesterday and got them to the hotel...the boys are ready to go! Kris Murrell and I hung out and watched the season finale of SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE ..congrats to Joshua the winner...he dance with such passion all season!!

My Godson humg out with me all yesterday....it was nice to be with him..he is an awesome kid and has so much going for him!!!

I got my suit from Maggie Blanchard..it's hot coral tied dyed and blinged out...it's pretty cool! Thanks MAGS!!!!

Talk to you all soon!!!
C

2008-08-07T06:51:00.001-07:00

Good Morning!!!

It is a beautiful day in Tampa Bay...more humid than it has been and expected to be hot...just for the kick off of the inagrual Tampa Pro...Tampa's first IFBB pro show, hosted by Tim Garnder!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!

This week is just flying by....I already wished there were 2 more weeks of doing just what I am doing now..I don't care that I am hungry, thristy or a bit loopy...it feels good to have no responsibility to deal with, no stress, time to MYSELF!!!! I hope that I can do it again soon...maybe when I come back down for my friends wedding in October...I just hope I can hold out till then. It's funny...you cruise through life and don't realize how it wears on you...when you have to pay bills and be responsible you do that first and forget about relaxing and feeling peaceful...I have to find that balance somehow. I am able right now to sit back and watch those around me bustling around with their jobs...stressed, sometimes liking it sometimes not...I get scared sometimes that being alone feels so much more relaxing than bustling around....I hope I don't end up isolating myself as I age.
I dreamed about my mom last night for the first time...I think maybe it'
s just that I was FINALLY relaxed enough to see my dreams??/ Who knows...what I do know is I love this feeling.

The show...well...I am happy with how I am looking right now...I weighed in around 109 the other day so who knows...I will be LITTLE up there for sure??? Oh well...keeping it pretty , right? Althoughmy face isn't so pretty right now...all sorts of sucked out!!!
I am excited for the next few days to unfold...I already don't want them to end!!!!!

OK all.....gonna get on with it for today!!!
Peace!
C

2008-08-05T06:46:00.000-07:00

HELLO!!!!

I am sorry I havne't been able to update this blog...I hope you are all still checking in on me....Life has been just sooo crazy since my mom passed away on 6/20. I have been prepping to competge on 8/9 at the Tampa Pro show and I guest posed at Dexter Jackson Classic on 8/2. I was in Vegas for USA"s before that to work and I have been trying to clean up and reconstruct things that have gone wrong in my house over the past 6 months while I was caring for mom.My mind was full of chaos before I got to Tampa!

I got here on my birthday 7/31...I realized that birthdays are celebrated most by mothers...it makes sense..they are the ones who gave birth and they are the ones who are truely celebrating that day...my birthday this year was just another day...there were well wishes but it was strangely different...I made me realize my mom's role for that day that I never really understood until she was gone.....celebrat4e YOUR MOM ON your BIRTHDAY!!!!

My main problem right now is that I am having problems focusing at times and I also get overwhelmed very easily. Too many things at once seems to put me over the edge, which is wierd because I have always prided myself at multi-tasking.....

People tell me this is a normal reaction to being a caretaker for so long...kind of like PTSD...my emotions are all tapped out with that and I get easily overhwlemed becasue of it??? We will see...I decided to take an extended trip to Tampa prior to my show to try to GROUND MYSELF AND REGROUP...I am actually feeling much better, just prepping for my show and not doing anything but what I want to right at the moment...only problem is that I think I may need another 2 weeks of this before I feel rejuvenated (and that isn't gonna happen!)...I am so fortunate to have friends that are like family down here to watch over me and support me!!

Vegas was OK...lot's of work, over 400 athletes but I got to see Nicki and Dave and actually felt like I clicked into my prepfor the first time. Brandie took a 5th in tall calss, which at the USA's is phenominal!!! You go gurl!
I spent some time with Kris Murrell (up and coming national level heavy wieght and all around sweet girl), and her friend Melissa. Kris is currently living in Tampa so she is helping me with my prep as well.

My godson,Chris, who just graduated from high school and is going to Temple University is down here this week with us which is a nice treat. I am so proud of him...he is a great kid with all sorts of opportunity in front of him!!!! Go Chris!! WE will be celebrating all togegther once the show is over by going to eat and to Busch Gardens on Sunday!!!! WOOHOO!!!!

The Tampa Pro is this weekend and truthfully I am jsut happy to look as good as I do with the year and inconsistent prep I have had this past 6 months...being in Tampa and at Boddy Tech with Tim right here with me is so awesome!!! I spent last weekend hanign out with Tim and Brandie and their kids in Jacksonville at the Dexter Jackson Classic (I had to gueat pose)and it was fun!!!Tim is the best...genuine, sincere, family oriented, warm, smart, always knows the right thing to say to motivate!!!! I love you Tim!!!!!!

Once this show is over I will be traveling for work every weekend until the end of September...it's gonna be a busy 2 months. I will be at: Europa(dallas) 8/16, North Americans(clevland) 8/30, Team U(new york) 9/6, Atlantic City Pro 9/13, Hurricane Bay (Tampa)8/20, Olympia (vegas) 9/27....

I will be based out of Gold's Gym West Side Monday thru WEd during these months.

I wanat to thank; Protan, Gold's Gym, West Sprinfgfield, Body Tech and Tim Gardner, Maggie Blanchard and all my friends who have been sooo supportive all this year...I also want to remember my mom...I know she is with me in my heart...I MISS YOU MOM!!!!

2008-07-05T08:29:00.000-07:00

Hello from HOUSTON

I am at the Houston Pro...working for Bill Wilmore doing his food prep. Working with Hany Ramod, who is his nutritionist, is a great pleasure. Big Bill looks the best he ever has and looks to be in the top 5. It must be awesome to be taking home a payceck!!! Go BILL!!!!!

I wanted to also take this time to thank everyone who has sent their well wishes and prayers regarding my mom. It has been an overwhelming response to her death. It touches my heart to have so many people acknowledge me at this time...thanks is really not enough!!!

We had a beautiful day of services for her....it was upbeat and a great celebration of her life. There was upbeat music playing at the funereal home, followed by a very patriotic service at the Veterans Cemetary (w hich she would have really liked) and we finished it off with a happy party at Max's tavern (DRINKS ON GINNY)...just what she would have wanted.
My dad has held up beautifully and we are now trying to get back to some type of "normalcy" whatever that is...there is a huge hole in the day and in my life but in a way it is a strange relief too???? I am sure I will have many moments and I already miss her but it was her time and God called her home.

Again...many heartfelt thanks to all of you who offered support at my time of need.
On an even more somber note I want to send out my deepest condolenscences to Amanda Dunbar and her family at the death of her very young sister. I am so sorry that Amanda has to live through such a tradgidy...my heart goes out to her and her family.

OK...so the travel schedule is back ON!!!! After Houston I will be in Vegas at the USA's workign for Protan and then I am going to take a bit of a "vacation" in Tampa while I finish my prep for the Tampa Pro....I am really looking forward to being in Tampa (my second bodybuilding home!).

Stay tuned...I will try to put out a newsletter very soon!
Thank you again!
Much love
C

2008-06-20T13:35:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to let everyone know that my dear MOM finally passed home to God today. She has been strong and has suffered much but we are blessed to have had extra time together...to learn and love and put closure to things. Life goes on...it doesn't stop...it's a beautiful day ...the sun is out!

Thanks you all for the support, prayers and positive energy.....it has been overwhleming to know how many people have cared for me and my family at this long time!
Peace

2008-05-15T05:42:00.000-07:00

It's a rainy day in Western Mass!!! It's all good though...I am in the airport waiting to board my plane to Charleston S. Carolina for the Jr. USA's....about to go where the Southern hospitality reigns!!! Gotta work the first National show of the year!!!
The best part of this trip will be seeing Tim and Brandie!!! They are driving in tomrorow! Boy have I missed them....NIcki will be there too...but I have seen her now three weekends in a row...that is pretty awesome I must say...if nothing else these Protan weekends keep us visiting and that is a good thing!!!

It's strange because when I am traveling like this my life feels "normal"...whatever that is and then I remember...my poor mom is laying in that hopsital bed int he living room wishing she could just get up and walk to the porch!!! She has had a tough time breathing this week...I think it's the allergies and something she may need to cough up...the nurses however agree with her when she says..."I'm just getting worse"...I truely believe that if she were eating better and felt stronger she would be getting out of that bed...I just see her having more life in her than the hospice nurses do???? In their quest to be "realistic" they sometimes see the downward slide....I jsut see her stronger than they do?

I put up a big metal SUN on her fence so when she looks out to her garden fromher bed she can see it!!! It's pretty and once this travel weekend is done I will spend some time getting her garden all set for her to see!!

NOt to change the subject but I wanted to say how good it was to see MImi and Amanda last weekend in NYC....I just wished I had had more time to visit...Love their vibe!!

OK all...till next time!
Be blessed and see the sun!
C

2008-05-12T16:25:00.001-07:00

Happy MOnday People!!!

and...Happy Belated Mother's day to all of you who are mothers!!!!

I am ON THE ROAD AGAIN!!!!!

I have been picking up the traveling schedule as Mom is staying stable.
First trip out for 2008 for me was to Pittsburg for the Pittsburg Pro/Am. Mr. Manion puts on one great show and ALL of the top level IFBB pros were in attendance. Unfortunatley I did not taek ANY pictures I was sooo busy!!!
We were located in the University of Pittsburg area and it is a lovely area. The Soldiers and Sailors Memorial is a very prestigous musuem and theater and that is where the events were held.
Of course my gurl Nicki, joined me on Friday evening and we had dinner with my boi, Big Bill Wilmore! It was awesome to see them both. We worked the show on Saturday all day and finished off the night oiling up; Big Jay, Dexter, PHil, Kai, Victor, Erik, Trey Brewer and more! Then we were invited by Mr. Manion to attend the banquet at Bruschetta's afterward. A bus brought us all to the resturant and there was an awesome buffet spread out in an upstairs dining room...there was Italian food and "clean" food so there was something for everyone. You gotta love these BB events where the hosts really know how to feed us!!! Nicki and I were able to "eat clean" all weekend. I felt like I had graduated as I was in the "traditional IFBB Pro" picture taken every year at this event!!Yipee!!!

Nicki is preparing for the Arizona State at the end of June.
Big Bill was looking large and in charge, lean and mean...he is definatley gonna make a statement in Houston on July 4th!!!! As far as I am concerned...well..I'm dieting and training and let's just see what happens ...

Sunday (5/4), I was off at 5 am to Boston to judge the Jay Cutler classic (formerly the New Englands), promoted by Jim Decotis. Big Jay got Muscle tech to provide a huge jug of portien powder to every athlete///AWESOME! Jay and Evan guest posed as did Collette Nelso who was one week out form the NY Pro. It was a great event but a long day!!
I have to shout out to Cindy Sullivan who took a 2nd in her class and 3rd int hemasters...she looked totally fantastic and made me proud. Big shouts out also to Chris, Big Rob, Pauly and Eric form Gold's Gym West Side!!! They all had a great showing!!!!

So this past weekend I went down to NYC with NIcki's mom to attend the NY Pro. I didn't htink I was working the show abut as it turns out...there must have been a communication problem with the "boys in charge" and I ended up dropping to my knees to oil up the athletes...I didn't want to leave them, STeve Stone and Crew or Uncle Weinburger hanging...I dug deep and took one for the team!!! I made it happen and took care of the athletes...that is all that matters.
It was an interesting showing; in the under 202 group it was; Kevin English, David Henry and Jason ARntz (all qualified for the under 202 showdown at teh Olympia). In the open group it was; Kai Greene, Kevin English, Ronnie Rockel, Dave HEnry and Craig Richardson. For the women it went like this; Cathy Lafrancios, Jeannie Paperone, Rosemary Jennings. Deb Lasweski took best poser and so did Tricky Jackson. Tampa Tim donated money for the best poser award!!! I have to say that Cathy really looked good, muscular, condidtioned but very pretty as well...good job!

So this weekend it is off to the Jr. USA's in Charleston...I'll let you know how it goes!!!
Big hugs to you all
Stay postive and be happy!!!
C

2008-04-28T18:54:00.000-07:00

It's raining in Western Ma today...we have had such beautiful dry, suny weather, I really can't complain. I caught a ride with Big Rob Gould and upcomer, Chris Grady to New Jersey's STRONG & SHAPELY gym this past Saturday. They go down there to meet with their trainer and it's an awesome hardcore gym so I figured it might give me the shot in the arm I need to get motivated to train hard. There are all sorts of pictures, old and new of bodybuilders and fitness champions...and it's got machines always new and some ancient...it was an awesome day. Bob Bohnam is a great host and welcomed me in to his establishment with arms open wide. Rob and Chris will be competing this wekeend at the Jay Cutler Classic (formly the New England Championships)...all the best to them..I know they have worked hard and overcome many obstacles to get ready to be their best!!!

Mom is hanging in there...she is on very little medication and seems to be getting stronger every day but she is stil lin the bed and unfortuanatley not seeing her still being around as a blessing...but rather she is getting depressed and lacks motivation to even sit up. I have been going there to sleep over, cook a meal and do some chores at least 2 times per week since I moved back to my own place. It's a little crazy basing out of 2 homes...I never seem to have the things I need when I need them...I bring my computer when I go over to my parents but it doens't alway work right and then I always feel like I should be making my time there quality time and not worry about always pushing myself to work...

Speaking of work..things are looking up with the PT...I am signing on some new clients and rescheduling some old ones...I am in the gym more and more and am training myself. I do think, however, tat this year will be a bit unothordox in my training methods but who knows...that may eve be better...God willing I am able to continue to work and enjoy my parents (especially Mom's) company!
I go back to Protan travel this weekend with an appearance at the Pittbsurg Pro/AM and then fly right into Boston on 5/4 to judege the Jay Cutler...I am pretty sure there will be more than just me on my plane flying from one show to the next! I am psyched to see NIcki...she has been preping for a regional show in AZ at the end of June...I spoke to her today about possibly going out there for it...not sure yet, but it sure would be nice to go support her for a change!!!!

Again...I feel so grateful for soo many things...I pray that I can know what to say and what to do for my mom to help her to feel happier and as blessed as I feel...evenwhen I have a hectic day and feel overwhelmed I am still blessed...I just pray for the guidance I need with family, work and everythign else to do the right thing!!!
Enjoy the renewal of spring all!!!! Be blessed
Peace
C

2008-04-17T17:02:00.000-07:00

It was such a BEAUTIFUL day today! I felt sooo grateful for today...the weather..my flexibility...my job (which is on the upswing, again!)...MY MOM AND DAD...my clietn doing her first show..I atually worked out myself twice this week!!!
Anything is better with sunshine and fresh air!!!!

I physically feel kind of tired and I am not sure why??? HOpefully this will get better as I get more organized and also as I get into the new vitamin/antioxident regieme I am on by Life Force...we will see!!!

Be grateful everybody!!!! Life is so good!
Peace

2008-04-13T19:43:00.000-07:00

I AM GRATEFUL!!!! For so many things.

First is MY BED!!!! I love MY BED!!! I moved back to my apratment yesterday after spending the last 9 weeks at my parents taking care of my mom. It was so nice to sleep in my own bed...in my own space! I love my parents but I have been out of their house for many years now and I was feeling "under foot" especially since Dad has taken over many of the responsibilities of caring for Mom.

I AM GRATEFUL!!!! I was ABLE to call Mom the other day to tell her I LOVED HER....it was only a few weeks ago, I thought I would never be able to call her again....I AM GRATEFUL she is still here with us.

I AM GRATEFUL that I was able to care for Mom...not work for a period of time and do everything I could to make her and Dad more comfortable.

I am GRATEFUL for the lessons I learned and am still learning...I am GRATEFUL to be getting back to work..for having the chance to get MY BODY back to a healthy state.

I AM GRATEFUL that it is spring...that the birds are chirping, the flowers are blooming, the grass is getting green, the air feels warmer.....it is renewal...for ALL of us.

Mom is feeling depressed as now that she is clear headed and off almost all the drugs she is realizing that she is still with us and can't get out of her bed. Truthfully, I see her being able to get up and move about the house...not easily but I can see her doing it...she is feeling hopeless....I pray that she finds God's light to help her to understand what she needs to still do and I also pray that God takes her quickly when it is her time...I hate to see her perseverating over what is her purpose and what will happen to her....I pray that God is forgiving and takes her qucikly when it is time....

So, for now....I base myself out of my own place and try to make a living and pay my way and recharge my body and soul to deal with whatever God has planned...
I am back to structured eating, cardio everyday for 45 minutes and Body PumP classes (I teach them). Last week I did 4 classes...this week I will do 3 and I will actually lift some weights!!!! Chest, shoulders and back are my priorities right now...
For all of you who have been keeping up in my journal and sending prayers and good thoughts....THANKS YOU truely from the bottom of my heart.....I know that the positive vibes have helped get me through a dark time....I see the sun right now and do not fear the dark!!!!
Muah
Peace

2008-04-04T04:41:00.000-07:00

It is a very grey and rainy day today...but...I am GRATEFUL that the grass is srouting and the spring is here...that I woke up without a headache today and that Mom and Dad are well today!!!
It seems so strange that we are in our 8th week home with Mom when I prepared myself for her passing (several times!!!)...now it's time for me to move along with my life and gear up, and garner strength for the next time I need to move in wiht them!!!
This past week has gone pretty well actually...Dad i really steping up and doing a great job with EVERYTHING...as long as Mom is alert and can let him know what she needs he can do a great job...I just have to figure out how to make sure he doesn't get burnt out.....
For now....I am booking clients 2 weeks at a time and not longer, teaching my class, doing my cardio and hoping to be transitioning back to my own house soon....at least part of the week.
Joyce (private duty lady) comes in tomorrow night for her first over night...we will see how that goes...perhaps we won't need her at night but in the morning or after noons when I am traveling???? We'll see??
I went to a retirement party this past week for a woman I used to work with , Carol. CArol was always very supportie to me at that hell hole and I felt compelled to show up to honor her...she was very touched so I felt good I went. I actually was quite well recieved. I forgot about the old school people out of the Holyoke office...I didn't expect to see them...they mke me feel like a different life ago but most of them looked better than ever and in a NEW phase of their lives to...it really is like seeing those people form different eyes since I have been OUT! WOW!!! This made me realize how blessed I really am...I truely am doing what I love!!!! They can't say that and neither could I when I was there...they are scared...I know, cause I was there too...I wish they could feel how I feel now...they wouldn't be scared anymore but I truely do know how they feel ...it took me a year with a good therapist to LET GO of the fear!!! To Trust GOD will give me what I need... I really realized how much my faith has grown since I left the state service and have been caring for my mother....I made the right decision in leaving...it SAVED MY SOUL!
All the best to you Carol...many blessings for a wonderful life full of Jamacian sunshine!!!!!
K...I'm off for my first overnight OUT!!!!!!! Girls weekend...I'll keepyou posted!

2008-03-31T19:44:00.001-07:00

OK...my prep has officially started today and I am already hungry!!!!lol Cardio before breakfast and 5 meals of protien today. God willing...I plan on competing at Tim's new Pro Show in Tampa on 8/9/08. As long as Mom continues to improve and dad continues to do such a great job taking care of her during the day...I should be able to move back to my own house at some point over the next few weeks!!! MY OWN BED!!!!! WOW does that sound FABULOUS!
We'll see...one day at a time but at least if I can get back on track for awhile I can refuel for when I am needed again...I feel like I have done a lot for an dwith my MOm over these past 7 weeks and if I don't refuel myself pretty soon I may loose myself ...so...I think that will be the plan...more clients..more cardio and less food and cocktails!!!!

I taught the Body Pump 65 new release today...it wasn't perfect but it was fun and boy...did I kick my own butt...EVERYTHING aches tonight..especially my lower back and hips from the accident...I totally can't wait to get into the PT...and to get back on the MONAVIE juice with glucosamine...maybe that will help!!!! It sure did keep me healthy thru this ordeal!!!!

OK...Body Pump, Cardio, Diet and MONAVIE...oh yeah, my OWN BED...sounds like luxury!!!!!
Peace out
C
PS: The flights for the spring shows are made...we are off to the Pitts Pro, then into Boston for Jay Cutler Classic and then to S. Carolina for Jr. USA...hopefully to the NY Pro in between!!!!!

2008-03-28T14:18:00.000-07:00

Well...we are into our 7th weekwith Mom at home...she is getting progressively better everyday...she is eating better, taking less medicine, trying to sit up more. She is still bedridden but is so much better that the nurses are going to get a physical therapist eval to see if it is even possible for her to be mobile again.
It is a miracle and and wonderful thing and I am soo happy to have mom much more alert and with us!!!
That siad...I have been having a bit of a meltdown all week....feelings are jumping out all over me...anger, saddness, resentment, confusion, exhaustion, frustration, guilt....over and over all day...maybe I have held them in for 7 weeks under the pressure of keeping things together and now that I am not as needed they are coming out??? Who knows but I NEED to resume my life. Dad is doing more and I am going to try to transition back to work...I have been arranging all the spring shows as best I can(my computer crashed so I was out of touch for 3 days)...I am booking my standing clients and considering taking a few new ones...I have been teaching the Body PUmp class (to get my own workout in as I am still very unfocused int he gym)..April first starts my own prep...diet and cardio and essential...getting it scheduled is my first chore.
I am suffering some bad hip problems from the car accident on 2/2/08...I can't see the PT Dr. till 4/10 so my massage therapist has been working on me...I was trying to get my cardio in on a recombent bike that the nurse gave me but the massage therapist felt it was making matters worse....well it doesn't seem to make a differece.....whether I am walking on the sreet or on the eliptical everything seems to be going numb...well unless I am flat on my back Iwill push through this!!! I HAVE TO...MY BODY NEEDS ME BACK!!
So...more transitions..this time for a better reason!!!!
girls weekend is next weekend and I am going to go for one night...God willing...I need a dose of the girls for sure!!!!!
Peace out all...be Blessed!

2008-03-12T06:14:00.000-07:00

Here I sit on a grey day...it's not cold but I won't be able to go out for a walk today. I have been trying to get cardio in if it is fairly nice out. It's great to breathe in the fresh air and feel the sun on my face even if it is a bit cold.

Mom has slept through the night for the past several days. I have not even set my alarm to give her meds int he middle of the night. Last night was, I believe, our best night's sleep ( 11 pm-7 am, sraight thru). She has woken up lately wanting to wanting to talk, make phone calls, pay bills, not breathing poorly at all??? She has needed less medicine since last week and is interested in eating (although she only has a bite or two)? This week I feel like I should set up my week next week to work??? Last week I cancelled everything cause the nurses didn't think she was gonna make it through. They just shrug and look at me like..."who knows?"
I feel blessed to have more days but the stress of NEVER knowing is wearing. I have been fighting a sore throat and sinus problems this week. Yesterday I felt sooo bad I couldn't get out of bed..today I felt much better. I have been pumping myself wiht overdoses of Vit C and zinc, Monavie and fluids!!! I do feel better today...I will keep it up!

I guess I will try to go down in the basement and use the littel bike that the nurse brought me?? Better than nothing, right? I feel like I will have NO muscle when this is over and I really don't feel like doing the Body Pump video lately. Motivation is wanning lately. I just feel like going to the mall or getting a massage...maybe browse the grocery store??? WOW..I never thought I would feel this lazy? This break will definately show me if getting into shape is easier cause I have had a great break or harder because I AM OLD!!!!! I guess that is the next test...God wants to show me what I am capable of once I get back into the swing of the gym!!! I feel like ALL I want to do is lift so hard it hurts!!!

Anyone who is a fitness professional of any kind please go to FITRON.com it is a website that is a directory for fitness professionals and Greg Jones was kind enough to list me. Ihave gotten a referral from this site already and if I were promoting myself better I may have gotten more. It may be a great tool for those looking to market themselves!!! Thanks Greg

2008-03-07T18:56:00.000-08:00

Today I woke up (actually got 2, 4 hour blocks of sleeplast night!)and Mom told me she has a "new philosophy"...she made me wait till she finished her inhaler and then preceeded to tell me that she has been "going about his all wrong" and she was "a bit ashamed". She said that before she fell asleep last night "something happened" and she realized she needed to change her attitude. She decided that she needed to "stop worrying about dying and start concentrating on living". She seemed sooo peaceful.
She said she didn't know where this came from and I told her I knew. yesterday her friend Elizabeth put her hands on my mom and prayed for her to have peace of mind...I told my mom that I thought she had been visted by the Holy Spirit. She said...I might be right. I knew at that moment that if I had any doubt about my faith it was gone. I knew in my being that that was the reason my Mom felt more peace. Pretty amazing!
She slept most of the day, WITHOUT MEDICATION...she sat up in bed, had breakfast and lunch and was comfortable ALL day. I felt relief today..that she was comfortable and no longer seemed scared...then as the night went on and I was going through some of her things...deep sorrow and grief...for how much I will miss her...miss her nagging...miss her comfort...miss the security of her and her htings...it's so strange...if you are not aroudn it and don't see it it might be OK but hte minute you start thinking about past times, things, memories...you can feel sooo sad....

I will truely MISS my MOther, more than I ever realized...I sit her typing this sobbing with a deep ache in my heart...she is asleep next to me looking fraile and weak....my life will have an empty spot without her...a hole

2008-03-05T06:19:00.000-08:00

Let me see if the universe will allow me to post today....I tried last week on Thursday but it deleted....I guess it was not meant to be?

Today my dear friend Lana is buring her son Tony....who died a hero last week trying to help someone else. I can't imagine her pain as I sit here with my mom watching her die. My grief for my friend is so mixed wiht my own rolercoaster of emotions....

My mom seemed to take a turn alst week and then another one last night. It is so hard to see my strong, independant, fiesty mother too weak to sip through a straw. Never knowing what we will deal with the next moment. Her sharp mind is gettingmushy with all the morphine and adavan...it's aweful to watch and she knows it too!!! She cried yesterday at what she is becoming...

I pray that when she goes home to God she will come to me and be whole again..I can't stand this image in my mind forever...she is just a shell of the woman she was...so vunerable and weak....it's just heartbreaking and scary.

Seeing her scared makes me thik she isn't ready to pass...shouldn't she feel peaceful???? God, I pray she finds peace in this journey.....

RIP Anthony Christopher Shafer..watch over your momma and my family...we need your strength and kindness....RIP my friend

2008-02-26T04:47:00.001-08:00

Here we are in mom and dad's living room watching the Today show and looking out the big picture windows at the grey day. It's supposed to flurry and rain over the next 2 days.....we are just plugging along trying to have a somewhat "normal" routine....if there is such a thing.

Mom has't felt great and I even started feeling a little "punk" (as she calls it). I've had to cancel my trip to the Arnold...NIcki is going to "be me" and hold down the fort. Stacy has been soo understanding and I feel terrible to let him down as well as the projects I have started for him. I have to accept that Protan work will be there when "this job" is done!!! Half of me doesn't even want to think of the Arnold and the other half wants to be keep in the loop...BE PRESENT...that's what I keep telling myself.

I have been in the gym a bit training a couple clients a day. Trying to make sure I don't owe anybody sessions and trying to just keep my face in the gym a little so people don't forget I am there. The good news is that when I am there I am continuing to be approached to be hired so at least there will be people waiting to work with me when I get back...that is a comfort. I look forward to getting back to work and "making things happen"...but....I have time for that (Thank God).

I continue to have Angels looking over me, comforting me, helping me financially...it is overwhelming and so touching...I am soooo blessed to have the people I have in my life....I have ALOT of time to reflect on this and I can't think of any way to repay the kindness that have been shown and given to me....it is hard to accept sometimes as I am not used to taking anything from anyone...I have to just learn to say THANK YOU and feel that that is enough??

So today is Tuesday....there is only afternoon coverage if the weather permits so I am hanging intoday...guess I will do the BODY PUMP video!!!!!

Stay in the light all!!
Ciao
C

2008-02-22T08:43:00.000-08:00

It's a blizzard today! Actually...it waskind of pretty looking out the big picture windows of my mom's family room at the clean white snow falling in teh early morning light...

This has been a more stable week. Mom has seemed to stabilize somewhat...she is on a pretty good routine and things are just on cruise mode...it was actually the first time I thought I could handle a couple of clients in the gym or even work the Arnold! But I don't think the later is going to materialize as I don't have backup.

The bright spot of my week was seeing Nicki walk in the house unexpectedly on Tuesday...I actually felt almost normal for 3 days...she hung out here most of the time and we got a couple meals in...sushi at our favorite place! Her family treat to sushi and a wonderful dinner at FOOD 101! Blessings all around for me!!!
I hated to see her go...she provided me such as sense of comfort. It's a feeling I almost forgot about.....you know what else? The 3 full days Nicki was here wer bright suny and beautiful and today....it's a blizzard!!!! That is just crazy!!!

There have been highs and lows this week...enjoying the diversion of Nicki's company was a high that I couldn't get enough of and then experiencing a lot of anxiety over performing everyday "normal" tasks...losing patience and feeling depressed were all mixed in there too. I guess this is all normal but it's wearing me down.....

I know this is only temporary and I know that I have to stay present and that I am blessed to have all the wonderful& generous people around me....I know I will be a stronger person and maybe a more patient person after all this.....I understand that this is His plan and that I must give in to it and embrace it....WOW, this shit is just deep

Gotta go look at teh snow fall

2008-02-15T13:55:00.001-08:00

It was a sunny day today...almost making you think
spring may be coming soon.
I got up 2 times thoruhgout hte night to administer meds to see if Mom would wake up feeling better today and I guess it worked. She had a much better day today...keeping the meds more regular has seemed to help.
I went to the gym to train one client and didn't feel as out of sorts today...maybe I am seeing somelight at the end of my tunnel..for now!
Today my mother was talking about what she was planning to do this summer? It is bizarre...she isn't remembering certain thigns we talk about and certainly is putting her own twist on things which I guess is to be expected form being on the morphine? At least that is what they tell me??
The hospice people keep telling me what a good job I am doing and giving me alot of credit...my mother just wants me to go "live my life"...she can't understand that it isn't that easy?
My cousin, Maryann, came to visit today. She was inthe area for work and arragned to stop by...she dealt with this with her mom...it wasn't easy for her, either...very difficult time in 2001...seems lkike yesterday and yet like an eternity away...it was nice to see her..her older bother came on MOnday...they always come when it is necessary...parties or sicknesses...they always do the right thing...better than me sometimes, I think...it was nice to see them both..

Again....everyday is a different day.
Today felt like I could possibly set up my whole week next week with clients...tomorrow could be different? Who knows...only time will tell. The fact that I have done this at least 3 times in the past month (set up clients only to cancel them all due to mom's illness) is exhausting to me...thinking you are going to do one thing and then it changes in an instant....unsettling to say the least!

I am feeling right now like I need to get some air...maybe I will go to my house for a little bit......

2008-02-13T11:37:00.000-08:00

I am so tired today....not sure, maybe it is the snowy, icy, rainy grey day???...maybe I am just beat down from weeks of stress and my mom's illness...the lack of security with being able to pay my bills since I haven't been working....
People don't realize how negativity impacts the energy in the home....that is what makes it hard...
I guess I have to accept this and just know that I am so blessed to have my mother's time right now even if it is just emptying a bed pan and whispering secrets and administering meds.
I need to continue to pray for strength and GRACE!!!!!
I wished the pains in my stomach would go away when I eat....I feel so tired.
Steve, the gym owner, is so good to me..he is checking in and offering to bring me whatever I need. I think he is going to send a piece of cardio equipment over at some point. My massage therapist is willing to come to the house for me as well as my hairdreser...see how blessed I am!!!!
My life is really so good...it's just a surreal situation right now...it is REALLY life....things get put into perspective, don't they!
This has slowed me down and forced me to stay wiht my parents, take care of theirhome, clean out the freezer, take down the cobwebs that my dad doens't seem to see.....things, I guess I should have been doing right along???
Who has time for cobwebs, right???
I guess I need to make the time once life gets back to normal (whatever that is!)
Let's pray for sun!

2008-02-11T16:11:00.000-08:00

Well, it's been almost a week since I have taken my mom home from the hospital iwth hospice. Her bed is in our family room, she is using the bed pan and barely eating. She seems genuinly happy to be home and is much more comfortable now that she is getting morphine about every 3 hours. She is alert and I thank God that she is continuing to communicate to us and telling us what to do. The thought of not being able to ask my mom a question or tell her how my day has been is just incomprehensable to me. I can't imagine life without my mom to share it with.
I have so many wonderful people aroudn me and I should be feeling so blessed but it is just so strange really.
Family, to me, are people who I have adopted to fill space that is positive in my life....it is wonderful that I have been able to find this. Maybe it is because I am an only child and I have had no choice but truely I think I have been blessed because the people I have CHOOSEN are the type of family I would want around me always.
The days go by and I don't eat, or train or do anything that I am familiar with. I wash bed pans and administer medications and entertain people that normally are never around...it's a strange life but I guess it is what there is.
I have a totally new appreciation for my father...he is all I will have left for "immediate family", if you want to label things like that. He has been a rock...always the one who has been the "sick" one and now the "rock". He has been by my side through and through...he is my comfort, my friend.. I just pray that he still feels needed and has a purpose after all this is done. He is sooo much stronger than most have given him credit for.
Training has gone by the way side...I don't really even eat. I am sorry if this is't appropriate for this site...but talking about training isn't going to happen right now.
I have started a list of adjectives describing my mom and have asked people to add to it if they want...it's very interesting as it is very contradictory...she is polar oppisties and still her....how can that be, right??? I guesss that is what makes my mom her...
BE present...be blessed with your family (whether it is your parent, siblings or choosen family)...this moment is all we have, it changes in a flash and will NEVERbe the same...life is wonderous and precious.....can never be replaced.
Peace
C

2008-02-02T08:08:00.001-08:00

Happy Ground Hog Day!
It feels like an early spring day here in the northeast...damp but kinda warmer...a bit cloudy however? The ground hog supposedly says 6 more weeks of winter!!!! UGH!!!!

WEll...since I last blogged my mother was sent home fromt he hospital (because I couldn't let her go back to rehab) with services. She was home from 1/25 to 1/30...she started gainingher strength but had a relapse a few days later and we brought her back into the hospital with her penumonia still present and a little fluid around her lung as well (not bad enough to aspirate at this point)...she is so tired of being sick..poor thing! Her sister had gotten here the day we brought her home from the hospital and she really was a great help while mom was at home. It is very clear that the next time we bring her home I will have to move in for a bit to be there all the time or at least in between work?

I cancelled a business trip this weekend to be with her...she told me today she was so glad. Eventhough she tells me to GO!!!! go to work! Go to bed!!! go to the gym!! ...many times she really wants me to stay and usually I do anyway...she has always been one that you have to read bwetween the lines to tell what she REALLY wants cause she doens't ususally tell you...she walways wants to be strong...but she told me she is really a baby and is scared. I don't want my mom to be scared and that is why I stay most of the time....it's kind of an innate feeling for me when she is....If I amnot with her I FEEL it in my belly and when I go to her...sure enough...she doens't feel well and/or is scared....I guess the only thing I have control over s to BE THERE for her to help her NOT be scared...she finds comfort when I am there...it is clear.
The day to day or even hour to hour differences are very hard on me...I never know what I will find or how I will end up feeling...it is kind of surreal....

it's still the worse thought to think I will never be able to just pick up the phone and talk to my mother about the little stupid things that happen everyday....it just doesn't make sense that life will be like that but....I know it is inevitable...if not now...some time in the near future.....growing up NEVER stops, I guess...life CHANGES by the minute. I have never understood better than now how important it is to STAY PRESENT...in the RIGHT NOW!!!!!!
I guess life lessons are just that....hopefully we pay attention to them.....

I was in a car accident last night on my way to see mom. It was rainng hard and very grey...I was proceeding thorugh a green light and got to the intersection when I saw a car turnign in front of me (corssing in front) I couldn't stop fast enough and slid into her....I hope I don't have injury from this but the thought of sitting in the ER I just COUDLN'T handle. My lower back/hip area is a bit wierd feeling but again...I just can't be in that hospital anymore than I need to right now. The car will get fixed, the deductible will get paid (somehow) and life will go on...like it seems to. I thought I was handling things pretty well but maybe not???

The good thing with not going away on business besides being able to be a comfort to my mom is that I was able to be here to make SEthy's birthday cake!!! It's his 7th birthday today and I always make his and Evan's cakes and they love it!!! This year I wasn't going to be able to do it but since I was here, I did it last night and he just loved the football cake I make him! They are a joy to me and I am so grateful to have them in my life.
I will sign out now....thanks to all of you who are praying for me and my mom!!!! It really helps and means alot to me!
GO PATS!!!!!!

2008-01-20T05:55:00.000-08:00

It's Sunday, 1/20/08, a big game for the Patriots inNew England today. It's cold and windy but at least sunny!

Mom answered the phone when I called this morning...she said she slept really well and to take my time getting there. This is huge! She hs steadily but slowly improved over the week. She is so weak that her biggest exercise is getting up to go to the bathroom. It's beenhard leaving her as she gets a scared look on her face and gets worried that she will be neglected if she is left alone. I have no fear of this at Baystate. The nurses and aides have been the best. They listen, are cmpasionate and really care for her well. They are well documented and pass along info and most importantly they are gentle with my mom wihtout being condescending. Huge shout out and much gratitudtue to the nurses and aides and respiratory OF SPRINGFIELD 1!!!!!
I don't know how they do it in an dout...they are amazing people.

So today I actually gave myself time to take a shower before heading to the hospital. I have been there before 8 am most days and stay most of the day.
I need to get to work a bit this week...not only for the money but for the sanity. The people at the gym have been so awesome....another shout out to GOLD' GYM WEST SIDE!!! What would I do without their support!? And my clients.....gosh...I'm blessed. I guess if I am working a job without benefits the best and biggest benefit is the caring of the people I work with and beside!
It's overwhleming sometimes!!!! I am so blessed!
Let's get on with the day...the sunshine and positive vibe!!!!!!

GO PATS

2008-01-17T19:35:00.000-08:00

It's snowing tonight. I am feeling pretty drained but wired. Mom is back in the hopsital and it has been a roller coaster ride! I have more friends than I can count across the national sending prayers and positive energy and I KNOW THAT IS HELPING..it's overwhelming to feel the presence of this energy.
It's also overwhelming to feel the energy of the end of life...fright, exhaustion, love, warmth, indecision, nurturing...it's strange and I guess natural...just when we feel we know wha tto expect in life ....we don't...

I am sharing this here because I am not sure where to put this....I pray for strength, guidance, energy to sustain me and finances to provide for me.......

Thank you for allowing me to indulge this here!

Trainig???? just a bit of cardio here and there with a protien pancke to nibble on thru the day...no structure...not a lot of peace...life

2008-01-14T21:20:00.001-08:00

Happy New Year ALL!!

I am sorry I have not been on here much since November. The holidays were very busy and my mom didn't feel all that well.
I am working hard out of Gold's Gym in West Springfield, MA and am available for personal trianing and diet/nutritional consultation. I have individual and group rates as well as package plans!!!
I am also working on getting certificed by Les Mills to teach a Body Pump group exercise class. It's an awesome workout!!!! Please come try it!

I want to let you all know that my mom is not doing well with her health. She is in the end stages of emphazyma and she is very sick right now. We are working toward making her comfortable and hopefully getting her stronger. I pray she can breath a little easier and feel better.

Although we have known how her health will fail it really is hitting home to me now. I truely am understanding how much I will miss her when I cannot just talk to her when I want. I am spending ALL the time I can with her right now. She has been such a wonderful mom to me...always making my life as easy as possible...ALWAYS there for me! It's hard to imagine a day when I can't just go see her and talk with her and tell her about my day. We have had our moments but I couldn't have asked for a better mother or friend..she has been my best cheerleader...she has shown me the finer things in life...she has never given up on me...she has looked at life differently because of me even when she really didn't want to...she opened her mind and embraced me...ALWAYS!!!!!!

Help me to pray for her comfort and strength and PLEASE...appreciate what you have in your loved ones...life is always changing and NEVER stays the same!

Much thought today and many blessings to you all!!!
C

feel free to contact me through my site for training, consultations or to give mom your prayers! THANKS

2007-11-11T07:35:00.000-08:00

My figure debut is over...I can tell you one thing...those poor girls WAIT AROUND IN THOSE HEELS....ALOT!!!! It was a LONG night and got a bit boring backstage but I tried to keep up the energy...shared my wine and met a lot of fun girls. Many of these ladies I have oiled up on a national level stage before but hanging out wiht them was a different vibe! It's hard not to fall into my "role" as backstage helper though...I feel so compelled to tuck in a string or glue in a but..I tried to restrain.
I got a couple critiqus; Tricky Jackson and Roland Hugh both thought I fit right in on the figure stage...they did not think I was too muscular but then a couple people still thought I was. It is going back and forth. A couple people just don't want to see me leave BB as they feel I am good for the sport?

After the show, Dave and NIcki, Marcy, Q and I went out to the Hard rock to eat and that is where I got to have my COSMOS!!!!! They did the trick..the wine didn't seem to perk me up as much and I felt much better. I think that getting a visit from Auntie Flo (wink, wink) today (SURPRISE!) really started messing with my emotions. Great..another thing to deal with as a figure competitor!!!! That's enough to make me go back to BB...QUICK!!
After the Hardrock we went to the ROCK BAR, where Brent JOnes hosted the after party. I have never heard ALL rock and Roll in a ance club...it was different but the vibe from the athletes was great...it was nice to see everyone in a relaxed venue and a lot of athletes did show up! We stayed till about 2 ish I think...the bars in Louisville stay open till 4am!! Who would have thought that Louisville was such a hard party place!???
So today we are gonna ust hang out and watch football somewhere tillwe have to leave. This has been a great experience for me...I like how my physique came out, got a great critique from one juge, and now....I HAVE A DECISION to make....I guess I amjust gonna relax with it and give it up to the universe...it hasn't led me wrong yet...
Gotta listen to my heart
Have a great Sunday all!
Ciao
C

2007-11-10T15:19:00.000-08:00

Here are a couple pics from the day in Louisville!!

2007-11-10T14:31:00.000-08:00

Hey all!!!

Well prejuge is over and I was in the LAST CALL OUT. I was very happy with how I looked. Yesterday I was drying out and getting vascular so I got to eat my cake and smoothed out but I felt like I was not too overmuscled on stage. There were girls with jacked delts and striated delts...hard and dry so I felt like I was doing OK but I guess my transformation wasn't good enough or maybe I just need to "pay my figure dues"...not sure, but then again...I am sure many of these figure girls have no idea how to look from show to show. For me? I feel a bit confused as to where to take this competition journey now...I think my heart lives in bodybuilding but this is easier and perhaps more realistic to maintain...it's great for buiness too. NIcki thinks that whatever I do I need to decide and just stay with it...if it's figure then just whittle away and keep at it...???? Maybe I just need to sit with it and see how I look in the off season after this...I don't like the "GIRTH" that goes along with BB in the off season....maybe I will just give it up to the universe to help me decide.....or maybe I will go back to BB for just one more show in TAMPA!!!!!!

I got a lot of great praise from the girls...I got several different critiques from people and am looking to get more feedback to see which way this goes. The head judge was Gary Udit and the rest of the judges were his expiditing team (which seemed odd to me to see them in the role of judge) and then there was Ernest from Iowa. Rick Lohre said I Just "had too much muscle"...others said "I was very graceful on stage and presentation was natural and awesome, elegant"...I was told I had a very feminine package"...my one piece suit "didn't flatter my physique (unproportionate?)..."looked longer in the 2 piece"...."don't squeeze your glutes AT ALL; just pooch out your butt and arch your back"(like a porn star I guess?)..."you're so much fun"...this is some of the feedback I have gotten so far.

It looks like 1,2,3 will be the same as last weeks Sacramento Pro with Michelle Flake, Mary Jo Cooke and Darlene Brown(not sure what order)..Brenda Smith looks to be taking 4th (my personal favorite, tiny waist, great delts, banging booty!)...Amy Peters is in the top 10...some petite hard physiques taking top ten. I can't wait to see some pictures to compare and see how I really look next to the girls...it's hard to tell when you are up there.

After the first round I wasn't sure if I was doing something really wrong after a bad call out but Nicki and the gang told me I did great and didn't look out of place so I felt better for round 2. Then Marcy Porter watched me do my model turns and reassured me that I looked great, natural and easy flowing up there. She was great backstage..very laid back and comforting. April also gave me some great posing advice. Elaine Goodlad is totally awesome...just as beautiful(laid back and natural) in person as in the mags!

So far this is a great learning experience...can't wait to go have some wine with the girls!!!!!!

The next BIG question is....what to do NEXT!?

2007-11-09T16:36:00.000-08:00

HELLO from the Bluegrass state!

I am here in Louisville getting ready to put onmy glass slippers and grace the pro figure stage! I am getting pretty excited too! I feel very pleased with the changes I made to make this debut and I am going to have some fun. Nicki and Dave, Q, Marcy are all here..we are getting ready to go have the "last supper"...I get 2 glasses of wine tonight...figure girls have it so much more fun!!!!!lol

Maggie Blanchard outdid herself with my suits. She blinged out my two piece from Atlantic City and made me a GORGEOUS coral suit that is bejewled like a princess!!! I have Raven's heels, my gurl Nicki's bling cuff and my mom's diamond C for jewlery! I feel like I am going to a prom!!!hehehehehe

I was just looking at the pictures of the girls form Sacramento...they are all beautiful but I am just not sure how the judges judge figure. I hope I am not too hard....I guess as long as I like how I look...then so be it!? It's a funny sport...the judges might take a lok at me and not be able to get it out of their mnds that I am a bodybuilder?? Who knows? So the goal is...HAVE A BLAST...MAKE NEW FREINDS...ENJOY AND LEARN!!!!!

I will try to keep you all posted and give you a couple pics up on here if I can!!
Thanks for all the support both on here an don myspace...it's overwhelming to me!

Ciao for now
C
PS: The ALWAYS, mighty lightweight!!

2007-11-06T10:54:00.001-08:00

Hello everyone!
It is definately starting to feel winter-ish here in the Northeast! The temperature has dropped, the leaves are dropping, the wind is blowing, it's getting dark early (boo-hoo) and the heat is kicking on!!!! I guess it was inevitable, eh???

I am feeling pretty excited though...I will be traveling to Kentucky to make my pro figure debut this weekend. I am just starting to feel like I look like a figure chick....I wished I could look like this all year...it's great for business!!! I have shrunk a bit of muscle and am holding a bit of water...I still have lines but the feedback I am getting is that I am not as big or hard as usual...so I guess I have achieved my goal...now we just have to see if the judges think so??? Wouldn't that be a kick if I did well in figure?
I have not lifted a weight (except for the occasional shoulder workout just so I wouldn't freak out too much!) and an introductory body pump class that I took to see if I want to get certified to teach it. I have maintained double cardios, agility and glute/ham work and of course the diet...which seemed alot easier until today!!! I have taken several different group ex classes at my gyms too..this has helped with agility and also helped me to feel more balanced...now that I have some time I like trying the different classes..it helps me to get the work out in and also to be able to refer clients according to their likes and goals!
I cannot wait to get to Kentucky; Dave and Nicki will be coming in along with Q, Franco and Natalie and of course Gnat lives there. Mary Porter will coming in too. I am really looking forward to the celebration; eating , drinks and visiting with friends! I feel like it's been awhile since I was able to really relax!

Things on the home front are going great...I have been i the gym alot more and Gold's West Side is sooo awesome to me. I have been doing some work for them in return to train my people...I'm gong to be taching some classes as well and am really looking forward to that a it willb e a change from what I am so used to doing in the gym. I love the atmosphere at the gym and love working with the people that have crossed my path!!! I cna't thank Steve and Frank enough for the support they have given me and I am sure that this relationship will benefit all of us!!!
My gut tells me that once the first of the year hits I should be transitioned pretty nicely into my new life!!!
Mom and dad are hanging in...mom has trouble breathing but she is eating better an always trying to have a great attitude. I had a bout with the intestinal flu and I think the change in weather has my throat and sinuses acting up (or maybe it's just that I need some nice home made apple pie!)...nothing that doubling up on the vitamin C and Zinc hoepfully can ward off!!!

OK all....so for now...stay tuned..once I get back formt Kentucky and being all glamourous it will be off to Nationals in Dallas but I will try to check in!!!
Go to myspace.com/mightylightweight to see new pics from vegas with Dan Ray

Train had and eat right!
Ciao
C

2007-10-22T09:04:00.000-07:00

I believe they would call this day INDIAN SUMMER! It's bringht, warm, dry and colorful and it's mid October!

Lot's has happened since I last blogged. I have been to Vegas for the Olympia and back and have been trying to get through this transition called life!

Mom ended up in the hospital and it was touch and go for a few days but she is fiesty and she is returning back to normal now...Thanks God! Goal for her is to keep her eating, build some muscle and help her to get stronger for the next bout!!!
As for me...I have been on my quest for the figure stage and this past weekend I ended up in the bed with an intestinal virus...who knows? Maybe this will be good for my figure debut...no eating, lots of "voiding" and a little cardio??? Can't be good for the muscle, right?
Anyway...I am getting excited to go to Kentucky to grace the figure stage to prove that FBB CAN, in fact, do it all!!!!

I was getting a wide variety of feedback at the Olympia when I would tell people of my goals. Lots of people said that if anyone could pull it off it would be me and others said that I will look ridiculous on the stage with "all my muscle"/ So???? Who knows...I guess, just like BB, you have to bring the package you like?? So far I am liking the package...after seeing the top 5 girls at the O I dont' feel "too big"..Gina Aliotti was a great in spiration to me as she has muscular legs and had a hard package at the O...she came in 2nd!!! And she was so beautiful too!!
so...Nicki and Dave will be in KEntucky as he is guest posing Q is going to jin us too so I think it will be a fun time!! Let's just hope this "little bout" of whatever I have that has rendered me eating nothing much but toast hasn't taken away from my physique!!!

This past weekend and the weekend before had Team New ENgland at 2 NPC shows promoted by Dave Follensbee and Maggie Blanchard. They were successful shows and a alot of great talent did show up. I just wished that there were more female bodybuilders out there...there were a few girls who could cross over form other catagories to be BB but are hesitant. I am not sure how else to show that it can be done but to do it...I hope new england is paying attention!!!
I did jump up on stage and guest posed with Evan Cetopani (4weeks formt eh nats) and Mike Wight...that was fun, espeically since I hadn't planned for it. I think we got the audience going though...hopefully that will inspire some ldaies!!??

The Olympia was alot of work but a total blast. Dave "the giant killer" Henry came in the top ten and big props to him for a great year and for showing that the "little/big guys" can hang at the O! Of course the reigning champ and New Englands own, Jay Cutler was a phenominal soecimen and Victor the Dominican Dominator couldn't have been more "ON"! Ronnie Coleman paid his farewell with class to the audience and got the respect that an 8 time champ deserves and the Big Bad Wolf got recognition for being in tip top shape as well. It was a great show and a fun time. Big shouts out to my boi Big Bill Wilmore for making his second trip to the O...he is looking large and in charge and has signed with a new suppliment company; Body Well!!!! Best of luck to him and the company!!!!

2007-09-18T11:03:00.000-07:00

Good morning all!!

It's an absolutely beautiful fall day in the northeast...the kind that just puts you in a good mood when you open your eyes!! Such a blessing!

I wanted to update you all on the AC Pro. Itook a 6th place in a highly competitive field of light weights. Iwas very ahppy with that placing and my performance in Atlantic City. I felt much more comfortable on the pro stage this year...I felt like I belonged and with my placing felt like I hung tough wiht the "Big Girls".

We had a blast backstage visiting and hanging out. Debbie Bramwell, Deb L, Lisa Aukland, Joanna Thomas, Beth Roberts, Heather Foster, Lora Ottand, Emery Miler, Betty Viana, the Canadian contingent...we had a blast. Vicki Nixon was backstage taking pics for MD and of course, My Protan Chicas were working their tails off!

The highlight of my weekend was having my mom with me. She hasn't been feeling well this summer...difficulty breathing as she has emphazyma. She was a trooper...I hauled her around in the wheelchair with her O2 tank...everyone really made of her and remembered her from last year even! She had a great time eventhough she was super tired by Saturday evening.

I gave her a gold bangle to add to her collection. She always bought herself a gold bangle bracelet after I had won an amatuer event. When I turned pro she bought a bangle with diamonds in it. Since I have turned pro she hasn't had the opportunity to buy herself a bracelt so I did it for her this year! She was touched. I think she has many nice memories from the weekend adn I am blessed to have been able to give them to her.

We walked ont eh boardwalk on S"unday n the sunshine..it was a beuatiful day and one of those moments that I know I will think of often in years to come.

I did a coupel interesting shotoshoots..one wiht Gene who is phenominal. We shot n the roof of the Taj, admidst the oion dome rooftops...it shoudl prove iteresting. I also shot with a man named Maritn Schoeller. He has already done a coffee table book of famous people and politicians and is looking to do one with FBB. It was an interesting shoot in that I didn't have to felx, jsut look into his old fashioned type camera for about 20 minutes of shots. His mom was withhim from Germany and so she and my mom visited for the time. IT was pretty cool and I hope to be able to see myself inhis book next year!

All in all my experience was awesome. I am now looking to jump into a figure show at the end of the season. My trainer, Tim, feels I could be more competitive if I lost some muscle size and entered next year. I just wasn tot jump in now an dsee what the judges have to say about which directin I should go........it should be an interesting change for me......only cardio, no training, same diet...l.let's see what happens!?

Until next time

Muah

Mighty

2007-09-14T06:36:00.000-07:00

Good morning all!!

Here I am inAtlantic City, seitting inmy bed overlooking the beach and boardwalk. I am one day out from the Atlantic City Pro. My mom is with me. As I look out over the hustle and bustle of the early morning tourists and workers on the Atlantic City Boardwalk I can't help but to think how much has changed in my life in ONE year since my Pro Debut!

Life is forever amazing me...you really can NEVER tell what will happen in the future...it is soooo important to live EVERY day in the moment.

I am soooo grateful to have this opportunity to get on stage with the worlds best pro athletes in Bodybuilding..to be able to have my mom with me this whole weekend...have my friends around me (nicki, Debbie, Deb, Mary, Dave....many more)...I'm so blessed..it really doesn't matter what happens tomorrow on that stage except to enjoy the second, [ay attention to the minutes and be totally immersed in the day.

To those close to me who can't be here...you ware with me in my heart and spirit and thanks you soooo much for your constant support and caring....MUAH!!!!!

PS: Big ups to suit designer, Maggie Blanchard, for coming through for me and getting my night suit done in record time...it fits great and is BEAUTIFUL!!!!!! Hugs to Mags!!!!
Thanks you also to PROTAN for sponsoring my travels to the AC Pro!!!!! Couldn't do it without you!!!

2007-09-07T18:29:00.000-07:00

HELLO!!!!!

Ok...I am not going to try to play catch up here since I haven't been on since JUNE!
Can you believe that summer is almost over? It has been a total whirlwind for me since my last writing. I have traveled ALL over for Protan...was gone pretty much every weekend in July at all the important shows and now....prepping to compete in ATLANTIC CITY on 9/15/07.

My life has been very different...I resigned from my 22 year position as a social worker for the state because I felt that my soul was suffering the consequences of the job and the atmosphere.....I feel soooooo free since I have left...now I am in transition....life changing....it is good, scary, exciting, overwhelming.....those are just a few of the emotions that have passed through me since this transition has occured....it's strange that with my life and finances being in limbo right now I don't feel totally panicked!?
I feel calm and optimistic that things will work out and everything will be OK...probably better in the long run...I do crave a bit of normalcy but really, what I am trying to do is pay attention to what I AM SUPPOSED to do...sometimes we are so busy being focused on what we THINK we are supposed to do that we don't pay attention to what we are MEANT to do......

...all this and I am prepping for a show...that seems like the least of my issues right now...it is the ONLY normalcy in my life right now....how strange...what once was such a huge big deal is just another day...almost a comfort (when I am not totally starving!!!)

So I am looking forward to bringing my mom to ATLANTIC CITY with me and make a nice weekend out of it....she nor my dad have been able to come see me (she used to) so it is very special to have her with me....really it is all about her...I even bought her a new gold bangle to add to her collection that she started when I started winning shows(I think she has seven now)...since I have turned pro, winning hasn't happened so she hasn't treated herself....so I DID IT FOR HER!!!!! She will be upset that I spent the money but...I wanted to do something special for her...she and my dad are such great support for me...not only in BB but in life...I really don't know what I would do without them....

The other big news in my life is that I am going to jump into a figure show at the end of the year. They are allowing IFBB women to cross over in the same year...not many FBB can do the cross so I want to be the first one..even if I do have toomuch muscle for figure...it just lends to my point as a pro...to prove that FBB can be marketable, pretty and feminine...why can't we do it all!!! GO FIGURE!!!!!

OK all....for those of you who have supported me and want to keep posted I vow to be better about updating my blog...I will let you knkow how it went in AC!!!!!

CIAO
C
PS: go to myspace.com/mightylightweight and check out my profile!

2007-06-12T05:08:00.000-07:00

It's SUMMER!!!

Hey all..so sorry I have not checked in sooner...it's been a whirlwind month in May!!
There was the NY Pro and the Colorado Pro two weeks a part. Tons of travel, visiting, working, etc.. you get the idea. It was great to see friends, Silvio Samuel, Toney Freeman, Phil Heath, Cathy LaFrancois, Adela Garcia, Kim and Rob Klien, Steve Stone, Melvin Anthony, Shawn Ray, Jeff Taylor, Branch Warren...just to name a few in the 2 events.

Dave Henry brought his shredded package that we are all used to seeing to Colorado and took a 5th place. The whole line-up was a more asthetically pleasing group. Kai Greene worked his way up the ranks to take a well deserved first place in CO. He really stunned the NY audience with his conditioning and ever entertaining posing routine to get the nod the next weekend at the Keystone to move up a few places and then to take the show in CO! He is a quick rising star and I., for one, am glad to see this guy work his way up!

Silvio Samuel is another rising star...signed with AMI and Muscle Tech, always smiling and jolly backstage, not placing out of the top 5 in the last 4 or 5 shows he has done...he has brought his mid section down and is displaying a tiny waist and full muscle bellies...keep an eye on this guy!!!

It was awesome seeing my gurl..Nicki twice this month! Western MA just isn't the same without her!!

I am still waiting to see the efforts from my DVD shoot in Atlanta but I am told it is almost done and I look forward to seeing what Jay Hammet has put together for me.

I am looking forward to changes in career...personal training and more work with Protan are in the future to get me out of state service soon!!! It's time that I live in the positive light instead of the dark...too much darkness just can consume a person no matter how hard they try to stay in the light!!! I am feeling really good about my decisions for the rest of the year and will keep you posted!!

Bodybuidling travel is in full force...Jr. Natioansl in Chicago is upon us this weekend. I have been preparing Lori Steele, light weight woman BB and she is looking ON TARGET I am very excited for her and can't wait to see the finished product. Now I really know how Tim feels...this stuff is nerve RACKING!!! Tim will be in Chicago with Brandie and Diana Cook competing so it will be family affair/TEAM BODY TECH crew!!! I love it when that happens on a work weekend!!!!
I really miss Tampa, Tim, the TEAM and Jose....I gotta plan a trip soon!!!

Plans for Iraq are still being worked on..they are looking to bring us out at the end of August which will really be a bad time. It will be 3 weeks form the Atlantic City and a month out from the O...it will be 140 degrees and we are still looking for sponsorship $$$ to get us to Kwait!!! We'll see...I will keep you posted on this too!!!

So much to look forward too.

My website will be getting an overhaul, new front page, new and updated picture gallery...stay tuned for this months newsletter and the "new Look".

Until next time!
MAKE IT COUNT!!!!!
C

2007-05-07T07:42:00.000-07:00

Happy Monday to you all!!!

I have had a chuck full weekend of bodybuilding!!!

I was in Marlboro Ma on Saturday (5/5/07) for the WNBF/Nancy Andrews show. Gold's gym owner Steve Shoshana competed as a pro as well as many other guys from Gold's Gym West Side!! Huge congrats go out to all of them...they looked great and their hard work paid off!! A very big congrats to Big "Charles in Charge" Constant. He took his class and the overall in the novice division. It was very clear that this all natural athlete did his homework!!!! He was big and full, hard and separated and he posed like the champ that he is! He will be busting into the WNBF Pro ranks if he keeps this up!!!

Also big hsouts to my NH girl in BB...she looked beautiful and did an descellant job with her presentation. Iknow she is reading this so...congrats to you!!! Keep up the great work!

Sunday (5/6/07) brought me to Boston for the NPC New Englands. A full day of judging and a full night of routines, and fabulous guest posers had us home after midnight! Jay Cutler, Dave PAlumbo, Colette Nelson, Evan Cetopani were all there presenting great entertainment. The Boston crowd loves Jay and he announced that next year he is joining forces with Jimmy Decotis to present the NPC/Jay Culter New England Championships!!!

Huge shouts out to HAl Riddle and RAven W. for displaying their hard work and dedication on stage. Hal took his class in a very tough line up and almost swept the overall too. Nothing to hang his head about, he made HUGE improvements since the last time he was on stage in ALL areas!!! I think the best thing about Hal winning is that he is such a nice guy....it makes it even nicer!!
Raven also did extremely well in a very big figure class taking a second place. She also crossed over to BB and took her class there. SHe had so much fun in that pose down that I hope to see her doing BB again!! SHe definately has what it takes to keep FBB pretty! I was very proud!!!

In attendance was Dave Follensbee and Mage Blanchard (of course) as well as Toy and Lori Steele. Lori is looking in charge of her Jr. Nats prep! She is gonna light up Chi-town in June!!! Amanda Genao, the 2005 overall figure champ was there, Ron Harris, MD forums group, Mr G and Mr. G Jr were with Dave recording clips for the forums!! Heidi Fletcher was organzing the backstage people as the trophy presentations. Hiedi has me almost convinced to try my hand at a little IFBB figure this year! It is a new ruing that the IFBB women can do any type of group in a show. I could concievabley do figure at one show and BB in another???? What other BB will be doing that?? I am thinking it might be fun to give it a try???!!! TIM...what do you think Boss!???
Speaking of Tim...it's his birthdya this Friday....HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOSS!!!!!!! Muah!!

The other BIG development is that I have actually made verbal contact with the powers that be to move things along for "Desert Muscle". The army is looking to bring us out at the end of August (how HOT will that be!? Literally!). I have sent out emails to all the peeps that want to go. Given that it is one moth before the O, I am not sure if a few of them will still want to make the trip. We have to settle the details of this...maybe try to go after the O??? Who knows, but at least it's moving forward...it actually looks like this may happen!! Very exciting

OK all..gotta get back to reality..it sure it tough...when will be able to make this part time stuff MY REALITY...huh? Is that what you are asking?? Me too! We'll see...hopefully soon!!

Ciao for now...will check back soon!!

C

2007-04-26T06:27:00.000-07:00

Spring has finally arrived in the Northeast...it's a little cold today but the days have gotten very warm and bright, the flowers are popping, the trees are budding, everythign is pink and yellow and light green..my allergies are full force!!!!lol It's definately helpful for remembering how grateful we should be everyday!!!

It's funny how life can change quickly...you might think you are ready for whatever it brings and you may feel strong but sometimes it just catches up to you...takes you by surprise..you try to focus on the light and positive but sometimes you still find yourself struggling...being present sometimes doesn't feel so pleasant and you find yourself wishing for time to pass...I guess I just have to say...be with it, be in the present, even if it isn't pleasant...it will pass and there is a lesson to learn..try to learn it..try to focus on it....you will be stronger for it..just perservere...the light will come again!

Be brave...make the choices that will bring you positve light and energy...if it feels hard it will be a lesson worth learning....

PEACE

2007-04-07T18:36:00.000-07:00

WEll....it's Spring but it still feels like winter this past week..it actually snowed mid-week...not to be discouraged though...Spring will come...we will all just hae to WILL it!

I spent the past few days earning some money working Vyotech Demos at the malls....I hadn't been inthe GNC stores inmonths and it was good to catch up with the staff in the stores....after my last demo today I met up with Lori and Anthony Steele. Lori is 10 weeks out from Jr. Nats and looking ON TIME! They came down form NH for the day to pose, train and eat sushi!!! I have to hand it to Lori...she is making hte transition from tigure to BB quite well...having put on some well earned muscle she will be coming in at the top of her weight class...it's gonna be a fun ride for her!!!

Life is just so interesting..you NEVER know what will happen from one day to the next...who will come and and out, where you will go and what opportunities will arise....I feel so much clarity and so ready to recieve the goodness of life...

Mom goes to Florida next week adn Nicki comes in for a week long visit. Off to the NY MET next weekend to work Protan and WE ARE OFF!!!

Happy EAster all..remember why we are celebrating this holiday...it's all about rebirth!!! Let's hope we all have one!!

CIAO

2007-04-03T20:05:00.000-07:00

4/3/07

Can you believe it is almost Easter??? I loove Easter time...it is just all spring and pretty and full of hope!!!

I just feel great! I went to my girls weekend with my college girlfriends this past weekend in the Jersey shore. WE went to a friends paretns house at the beach and ate, visited, rode bikes, ate, got spa treatments, ate!!!!! It was really nice to know that no matter what happens with life's turns there are women out there that will accept you even if they don't agree with you....there is always a place to go if you need to...I am blessed ot have these women. Ifeel like there will be days int he long future when we are old that we will be seeking each other for comfort or just to visit....it's a very warm feeling. I always felt so different form them since I am not married with kids and a house and settled...but his year I felt like we really are all the same..jsut living life and going through the struggles that everyone goes through...it was very different and nice.

I am feeling very strongly that my life is going to be changing for the better...I am ready for this and it feels liberating. I am so blessed to have what I have and the oportunities and lessons that have come to me and keep coming. I am hopeful that new things are on a close horizon...I'll keep you posted!

BB travels will be starting this month..first stop is NYC for the NY Met on 4/14 and then it is on to the Jr. USA's in Charleston.....it's heating up and I cna't wait. My official structured eating and training will resume on 5/1/07...after speaking with Tim it looks like Atlantic City Pro 2007 is where I will be next. He is so selfless in regards to us...even though it's his show day and we should be with him he wants to make it work for us to be where it is best for us! I know my mom is happy as she is loking forward to going again!!

There has been more correspondence with the troops in IRAQ about he Desert Muscle project...they are startign to talk abou tdates so things are loking like they are moving! I will keepyou all posted on this exciting venture!

Stay warm and know that the promise of spring is here!!
Hugs
C

2007-03-26T07:48:00.000-07:00

Happy MOnday!
I amin Atlanta...been here all weekend shooting DVD footage for "My Lie" DVD. It is the most beuatiful spring day here...the trees are pink, the grass is sprouting, the sky is blue and the flowers are out...they are ahead of us in Ma and it's giving me spring fever being here anticipating the days ahead. Of course not only "spring fever" but spring allergies...I have been swollowing allergy meds like candy since I have been here..hopefully the footage doens't look like I am red and puffy!!!!

I am excited about this project. Jay Hammettis producing it. It will be more like a lifestlye video instead of just a one demensional workout video. There will be video, pictures, narrative and music. It will be layered and more interesting to watch. I have a guest appearance by Toney Freemen...he was was trianing with his crew (including up and rising NPC star, Shortdog). This was a high light for me...Toney is a great guy and had some inspirational (to me) words to say! The plan is that if it works out well to do a series of these including cooking video and training video. I am very excited to see the finished product which he hopes is within the next two weeks.

I was treated like a queen...had great accomodations and time with friends. We shot video in one day and then did audio the next. It's weird standing in front of a mike in a room trying to emote and have excitement in your voice....I guess acting isn't as easy as it looks!!! Jay's brother D got me going though and I think it will be cool!

I went to dinner with Mimi Jabalee, Amanda Dunbar, Elena Sieple and others on Saturday night...it was hours worth of dinner at the Cheesecake factory but it was great to see the girls and have NO ONE competing!! There are so many BB in Atlanta!
Sunday night brought me out to my friend's Kirsten and son's beuatiful hoem in Alpheretta. It's absolutely gorgeous out here and so great to see such great epople.
I had a last minute opportunity to go hang out with another friend, MIke Rice, as he was doing personal security for Luda and Jeezy but the cab coudln't find where I was! I guess I am really out here and don't know it!
I will be returnign home tonight...I hear it is supposed to be better weather? We'll see...I guess I will have to get my coat out of the suitcase

Until next time!
Ciao
C
PS: I want to give a shour tout to Big Daddy J in Tampa...time to get a move on, cardio and diet plan!!! I'm behind ya big dawg!!!
Muah!

2007-03-12T12:40:00.000-07:00

OK..recap of the Arnold...where do I begin??

The Arnold is just such a whirlwind of work and people!!!! There never seems to be enough time to do everything and see everyone you want to! You get home from that trip and your head is just spinning and overflowing with info! (It has nothing to do with the after party either... he-he).

I got into Columbus on Thrusday and immediately tracked down Steve Winnerstrom so we could get the shoot done. I had held the diet thorugh the week and was phsyically starving and emtionally ready to just eat!!! He brought me out to Mr. Lorimer's gym for the shoot which went well. He seemed happy with the results and hopefully it will get me into the mags!!! He was a fun guy!!
I cruised back into the city to go set up the booth in the expo...I got that chore all done when Stacy showed up in time to feed me...I still hadn't eaten~~~~Needless to say he brought me to Hyku and I ate so much sushi I thought I would burst...the pink grapefruit cosmos were out of this world too! If it wasn't for Stacy I probably wouldn't have eaten all weekend!!! Hopefully we will be workign much more together this upcoming year!!!

That night and the next day and night were filled with painting Toney Freeman and workign the expo booth. Nicki and and Dave both had delays getting in but got there Thursday ngiht. I was able to visit with Mimi and Amanda, Q (he was doing the amatuer), Mike and Nida, the MD crew including Colette, I helped out Denise Masino (one of my favorites!), Krissy finally got in Friday!!! I never even saw big Bill till Saturday...he was staying far away and our schedules dind't jive. It was fun but lots of work.

After an unbelievable Bison Burger (thanks Stac), I managed to get over to woman's finals. Iris Kyle kept her title, Oxyiani came in 2nd and Heather took a third, her first time at the Arnold. They definatley went with the bigger girls at this show and some of the smaller girls are going to try to petition the IFBB to reinstate weight classes here like at the smaller shows. I don't know..whatever they do...what an honor to be up on that stage! Kim Klien took the fitness...YEAH Kimmie!! I think yelling for her was the beginning of the end for my voice. Mary Lado defended her figure title.

Saturday expo ws just packed..there was no getting out to go to any other booth. nciki left to go see Dave at prejudge but I wa there all day! We sold though...had almost nothing for the next day. We zoomed right over to the men's finals after the expo since there was no time inbetween...the routine s were OK but Marcus got the crowd out of their seats...he was on fire and the crowd let him know it. The look on his face was pricelss once he realized how much they loved him. This of course, led to the best poser award given out by the Governator himself! Pride is just not a big enough word to describe the feelings I had for him and Tim. Marcus seems to really be on a better path!!!
Victor upset Dex to take the title with Toney in third. Gustavo took 4th, Phil 5th and Silvio 6th. I really don't know what to say about the placings as I really couldn't see the comparisons and didn't see prejudge but the line sure was ready this year!!! Very exciting for sure.
Saturaday night brought some good times with Big Bill, Lisa an dtom, Nick and Dave. We went tot he VIP banquet adn thento the Muscle tech party before moving onto the big after party at the club Karma. The whole Mayehm crew and everyone else was there...I got to mingle with Debi lasewski...she is such a doll. Ben White wa there, My loves Franco and Natalie (just love those guys), saw Justin Harris for a visit, Toney Freeman's whole crew..there were jsut to many people to visit with and not enough time in the night. We couldn't been there for days visiting....it was a long night though and thanks to Franco and Natalie, they got me home safe and sound only to go straight to the expo!!! So at this poit I had NO voice left!!! NONE!! I jsut hoped that people jsut wanted me to smile and pose!!! We sold out of rpoduct before noon and Stacy had rebooked his flight to go home hearly, leaving us in charge of breaking down the set.

Sunday night was a quiet dinner with Nicki, Dave and Q. Q had just competed and looked great.
My butt went straight to bed at 9 pm that night so I could be on the early plane out!!

Another year....Another Arnold Classic!!!

2007-03-12T12:19:00.000-07:00

WOW!!

I am soo sorry I have been away so long...technical difficulties with my blog~~~ One day I WILL BE COMPUTER LITERATE! Ha!

OK...recap of my experience in Sacramento!!!!??? ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS!!!!
From coming into Lana's home, being treated with a relaxing facial, having all the comforts of home, taking a ride in the Benzo to SAC to actually waiting out the last few days before stage! I met up with the Boss, Tim Gardner and competitor and Lil Bro, Marcus Haley, once I got there...I got to spend quality time with both of them. It was a little uncomfortable as the last few days are but I was right on target! Right to the point where I peaked in the room on Friday night!!! Yeah, that's right, timing a bit off...but it is all good. It wouldn't have made a difference in my placing anyway. It's always a learning experience!!
The actual compeition was a blast...the girls show me soo much love..there was a lot of comreaderie and fun. The wine was flowing! It was a blast! I weighed in at 111 lbs. Definately at least 10 lbs less than the rest of the pack!!!

Tonie Norman took the lightweight division and Heather Policky took the heavyweight and overall in her pro debut! Vicki NIxon took a third behind Cathy Lafrancios in the lightweights. I took 6th but scoresheets show differently. I will follow up with that.

Big T Freeman, the X-man, took the show and Marcus took a very respectable 4th place. HIde from Japan made history getting the first ever "O" qualification for a Japanese man.

We had awesome Sushi after prejudge...Marcus, Tim, Lana, Shelly (who came in to do my makeup!), and Toney. It was a blast!!
After the night show just me, Lana and Toney went out for dinner. We kept it real low key...not even any cosmos!!!! Everyone was tired!

I was suspposed to shot all day Sunday but only ended up with one shoot with Gene X. It was a fun time and great pics although it was pretty cold! We got some good shots with Heather's overall sword!!! Steve Winnerstromhad family things to take care of so we agreed to shoot at the Arnold on Thursday...that meant holding the diet for a week!! YIKEEEESS!!! That's what make me the pro, right????

The friendships alon the way are just so priceless..just like the Visa comercial! Heather Foster, who calls me, "The BODY Salotti", will be working with me on my next routine! It's so exciting as she is just a phenomoinal entertainer. Vicki NIxon (3rd) was amazing...she just has delts from another planet and she is so sweet...overcoming so many physical but always has so much positive energy! Tonie Norman and Kim Perez...always so easy to be around. lauren Powers was reporting for MD online..she is so fullof energy and always gives me props! Then three are a few veterans, Cathy Lafrancious, Gayle Moher, Helen Bouchard...always smiling at me. The European girls, too...are so nice.

You know...it's funny how once you get that pro card then the focus all changes...for some of us it is no longer about "winning shows"...so focus and energy has to change! It's my goal as an IFBB pro to prove that Female BB can be feminine and marketable...the repsonse I got from my peers (competitors and spectators) as well as officials and others in the industry after this show is right in line with my goal.... I GUESS I AM DOING WHAT I HAVE BEEN CALLED TO DO!? WOW

2007-02-14T12:09:00.000-08:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY everyone!!! I hope you are getting everything sweet today!!

I am sitting at my home computer right now looking out on winter. It is grey, windy, sleeting and snow covered. I got sent home from work early cause of the slippery conditions! I had already trained on my lunch hour at the gym near my office and the temperature had dropped...it will only get more slippery on the roads. It is supposed to turn to all snow but so far not yet? If I could eat I would be making home made beef stew or pasta sauce and a carrot cake or home made cokies to have with hot chocolate made with milk. It's the perfect day for that and snuggling in to watch movies. Maybe a glass of wine with your honey type of day...but not for me!!
There will be no eating unless it's chicken and no drinking unless it is H2O. I have been enjoying different Green teas since it is so cold out! It's all good though...I will do my secnd cardio at home tonight...eat my chicken meals and hang out with my Valentines (Seth ,6 & Evan 8) next door. If you caqn't be in love on Valentines having some kids around is the next best thing!!! They are so excited to get Valentines chocolates and cards and have asnow day that they keep the enrgy bright!

OK..so Boss man Tim says we are on track...he told me I really looked like a pro this time with the size and shape I added to my elgs! That's cool..I didn't even try to do that. He is shooting for us to be conditioned like at 2005 Nats but bigger and more shapely. I am happy...I feel like I have done what I set out to do so now there's only the fun left to have!
My cousin Jessica turned me onto this book called; "The Secret"...it has been out for a bit but was featured on Oprah last week. It's all about the power of positive thought and how to help yourslef turn your negative thoughts positive...you attract wht you think! Anyway if you go on thesecret.com you can buy for $5 the video to watch on line. I need to block off an hour + for this so I hven't done it yet but just the quotes from the video are very cool...definately how I am trying to live my life!!
I got the nicest and most unexpected good luck card today from my friend Ellen. She must be reading my blog!!! It's a beautiful spring daisy card...I love it and the thought ...thanks gurl! If you are reading this!
I got a lot of well Valentines wishes today..first ones came from Tampa..al my peeps down there wer thinking of me first thing!!! I miss Tampa! Then the rest just flowed in..very nice to know you are thought of.

OK...I guess I will seam some green beans an denjoy the rest of this day off!!!!

Think Positive thoughts and it will attract positive things!!
Ciao for now
C

2007-02-12T08:23:00.000-08:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

Happy Monday!!

It's a bright sunny and cold day in the northeast today!!! We are expecting a snowstorm for Valentines day!? Who knows...wouldn't it be nice to snuggle up and drink hot chocolate whiel beign snowbound with your lover??? Too bad I don't have one!!!! lol!! Ok....sorry..the low carbs are sucking the reason out of my brain!!!

I had a nice weekend...I really didn't do too much but train, cardio, cook food, buy food, train clients and spend some quality time with my parents...but there was a peacefulness about my being that just felt nice.....?
Oh yeah! I did go to a friends birthday party (to show my respects only otherwise I would have stayed home.) It was at a kareoke bar...Good Lord! Being totally sober was bad enough to listen to the people sing but I really don't think there is enough Vodka in the world to have made that better!??? Anyway...it makes me remember why I usually stay home!!!!

OK...so today I woke up and there were those little viens in my lower abs!!! You know the ones that make you feel like your skin is thin as an onion and you are ready for a show!!?? Now...once my face sucks in...it's ON!!!!! It really motivated me and is helping me RIGHT NOW to deal with the hnger pangs I am having!!!!!

My web guy is playing around with some new ideas for my site...pretty cool! So there may be a "new look" soon???

"LIVE WITH INTENTION.
WALK TO THE EDGE.
LISTEN HARD.
PRACTICE WELLNESS.
PLAY WITH ABANDON.
LAUGH.
CHOOSE WITH NO REGRET.
CONTINUE TO LEARN.
APPRECIATE YOUR FREINDS.
DO WHAT YOU LOVE
LIVE AS IF THIS IS ALL THERE IS."
-Mary Ann Radmacher

That is something that I am going to be saying alot .... it makes sense...it's how I want to live my life....

Be peaceful all and remember how BLESSED we are!
Ciao
C

2007-02-09T07:56:00.000-08:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

TGIF! "(Again!)

Ok all...here I am...the cold spell continues in the Norhteast...today I thought my face was going to fall off while I was gassing up my car..the wind was like glass shards!!! OUCH!!! It's been sunny pretty much everyday and the days are getting longer....so at least with LIGHT I can function!

Wednesday night I went to the UMASS theater with Mom to see a Cirque de soliel type show...it was really amazing...acrobats, singing, dancing, juggling, comedy...it was really entertaining and the best part was being with Mom and getting mymind off EVERYTHING else..work, training, competing, chicken!!!! It was one of those moments where I felt truely blesed to be experiencing it with my Mom. I am very lucky.

It will be 2 weeks tomorrow form the SAC! I have been trying NOT to look at myself...I guess I am FLAT! Which is what I am supposed to be but..it's messes with the pre-contest mind! So today I get a whole, whopping 60 grams of complex...I was feeling the 30 g over the past week...by Wed. I was tired in the afternoon and feeling just emotionally drained...by yesterday I started off strong training delts but got weak and tired QUICK!!!! My first set I was saying to myself..."WOW! I am still strong"...and then all of a sudden I hit the wall and was just getting by! It's crazy how the body just stops sometimes! The pump I had in my delts was so painful though I couldn't put the water bottle up to my lips!!! They feel tight today but not sore...yet?
Today I feel emotionally strong but physically tired...it's sooo weird how everyday you feel different and there doesn't really seem to be pattern? I just try to acknowledge what I feel and "BE WITH IT"...if it's stress I try to wait it out and if it's joy and confidence I try to enjoy it!!! Today I feel like GOOD THINGS...CHANGES for the better are imminent!? Who knows???
I have an appointment to pose with Pauly tonight...he is a good eye...and tomorrow I have to be up at 6 am to get cardio in cuz I got a client at 9..got appointemtn scattered thorughout the day actually. Sunday...I am just gonna do cardio, start packing and REST!!!! I don't want to do anything for anybody!

OK all..stay warm...be peaceful...pray for sun!!!!
Ciao
C

2007-02-02T08:06:00.000-08:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

TGIF!!

Well all...I feel like things are coming together. I am getting excited to be in Sacramento! Things are tightening up eal well...a little flat but I lost the water I was holding inthe beginning of the week and my waist is looking little.
I will have posing practice tonight with Pauly at the gym. Since Nicki isn't around I decided I better set up some stuff to push me to pose. I hate looking at myself cuae it usually freaks me out so I don't pose as much as I should sometimes!
This prep so far has been much more on target than the last one..I have done everything more and to the letter. Of course there was NO travel..not even to a photo shoot...I amgetting a little itchy to go somewhere too but that's all good.
I have been really going thorugh stress at work but that seems to be parelleling my journey to the stage which is going great so.....conclusion... I really am blessed!
I am blessed that I have my parents who are soooo supportive...not only of my prep but of my life...they are the best cheerleaders anyone could ask for and ALWAYS there for me....I am sooo lucky...this is why I am still here...in the blasted lack luster Northeast! It's all for a reason and I am seeing them a little more clearly lately!

I can't wait for this season to kick off!!!! I spoke ot Stacy today and he is anxious to get to the Arnold. The new Protan products are not finished yet but he continues to work on them. He is sooo busy!!! I contacted Jeff Taylor and Shawn Ray for him and am waiting to hear back because Stacy wants to be a part of the Colorado Pro....that will be awesome!!

Nicki says Dave is looking freaky...as usual. I guess she says that the buzz is that Dave and Toney Freeman will be battling it out....can't get much mroe different than those 2 physiques? Ya never know though who will be bringing it!!! Mark Dugdale, marcus haley, Amad Hadier, Luke Wood...can't rule any of these cats out....wished I could be there but it's all good!!!

So...here's to a weekend of peace everyone...staying focused and plugging along!!! The lights will be in front of us before we know it...to all my fellow dietrs out there (you know who you are)...stay strong!!!

WE ARE SOLDIERS!
Ciao
C

2007-01-24T12:57:00.000-08:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

It's HUMP DAY!

It's cold and grey in the northeast today. It is predicted to get even colder by the weekend..down to only 18 degrees mid-day! You know what that means for the night! I should have gone to Tampa for this weekend like I wanted!!!!

I am officially "loopy"! The couple of grains of rice aren't fireingup the brain cells anymore! but...I am starting to look SHREDDED! I am noticing it this week in my face and upper body mostly. I feel strong and not too broken at this point. The cardio is on schedule...I have done it all! Waiting to get my adjustments today...Big boss is "pulling the plug!"...whatever that means...I have been going pretty hard so??????

I got a sushi cheat meal last Saturday...it was good...Nicki looked at me sunday and thought I was flat so I guess it didn't fill meout!? She also thought I had changed my shape as my quads and glutes arebigger! The goal was the glutes for sure...I guess the quads just went along for the ride..only problem is now they are seeming to overpower my hams??? No worries...she thinks I will be shredded in 4 weeks and that is the other goal so I am half way home!!!

Made contact with John Romano from MD and the people in Qatar about the IRAQ trip, "Desert Muscle"...it sounds like things are starting to roll. It's exciting! We have to draw up a contract for them with the 5 W's (who, what, ewhen, where...)...I feel like this really may happen! I guess it is not too much of a problem to get to an R&R base in Qatar but John also wants to get us into Iraq to really show our support and so he can photodocument how the troops stay fit out there.
My webmaster tells me that before he takes his break he will try to get the newsletter out...maybe this weekend...so keep an eye out!

I'll keep you all posted...until next time!
C

2007-01-19T12:08:00.000-08:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

1/19/07

TGIF!

Hey all! Well..winter finally has hit..we actually got freezing temperatures and snow this week. I can't really complain as it's been so mild but.....I'm ready for some sunnny weather!
My physical therapist states that she doesn't see anything else out of line but she really doesn't think it is a good idea to go back to Kickboxing...at least to kick!? She states that my hips seem to be very sensitive to going out of alignment....my massage therapist is out of commission with a pulled back but fortunately enough I have found a girl at the gym who wanted to barter services. Lisa M. Gilbert is a massage and spa expert and has been exchanging massage for training sessions so this is holding me over and helping me out!!! She is very convenient as she is right at the gym and is VERRRRY relaxing!
I trained at a different location this week with my friend, Christina, who is getting ready for her first figure competition! It's always good to have a fresh atmosphere for training...only problem was that the stair master was broken!! I have been on that thing every night for my second cardio and I think my glutes are really showing it..of course it can be somewhat crippling but...I am gonna OWN that machine when I am finished! Diet is good...as good as it gets...I think I am tapping into the fat and glycogen stores cause I am feeling a bit dippy and a little emotional...maybe it's just PMS...who knows? Some sushi wouldn't suck! I am gonna have Berto take pics tonight to get to Tim....I felt like my lower abs are tightening up and my lower back too... at least I hope so...I am definately flat this week but that is where I should be...I just hope I can get crispy this time!!!!!!

So another weekend of blah!!! I don't have PT clients tonight so just train back and cardio, tan, eat, shower, bed! Clients tomorrow morning after cardio....groceries...more cardio.....that's it! Weather is supposed to be cold and windy but at least partly sunny! Maybe I will hit the amll....shopping is always good!

My webmaster is out of commission for a few weeks as well so please be patient...hopefully things will be working back to normal soon with that!!! I have been waiting still for correspondence from the middle east...my emails got sent back so I tried again!!! I want to get this trip going!!!!
Am I belly aching???? OK...enough...
Until next time!
Peace!!!!

2007-01-15T09:46:00.000-08:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

I have been neglectful again! My webmaster has been too! My January Newsletter will be coming along with travel pics from Miami and some new galleries!

The New Years Resolutioners are abound and I am no different at this point. Although I hate to set resolutions just to let them go by the way side after a few weeks/months...I prefer to see the new year as a time to adjust some habits that will be able to be kept and better my life...always growing, always changing, always moving closer to being in the LIGHT 100% of the time! Living is a progression and always a learning experience...growth...just like every spring....everyday should be like a spring day...forever new beginnings and new growth!

John Romano put me in his column in MD for this month (Feb) about our trip to Iraq! I have had people ask me about it but the only problem is gthat he has not called me back regarding it so I am ON HOLD! Lot's of aspects of my life feel ON HOLD, eaiting on others before I can continue on something...I guess that is a part of me learning PATIENCE, right!?

OK..talking about Spring! I cannot complain about he weather so far this winter...the temperature has been mild and there has been NO snow! It's almost eerie??? I guess the cold weather is about to hit this week but so far it's been unseasonably mild...problem is however...there are grey days strung several in a row to the point where all I feel like doing is staying in bed. I don't even feellike eating half the time (who wants that damn chicken, right?). I've had many days off around the holiday season which has been very restful...I have been training and prepping for the Sacramento Pro..easy to stay on a daily schedule...get the house clean and organized...throw out old clothes and get things in order...redecorate a few things..it's been very domestic but now....I am starting to get itchy...huge LACK of motivation as of late..soldiering on through injuries (hip displacement)...plugging through workouts and cardio...being hungry...just falling into bed at 8 pm..not going out, not socializing, not even wanting to!!!

I think I need a little boost...I know that the next 6 weeks till my show will fly! It's good and then travel starts for BB...I am looking forward to MANY opportunities this year and can't wait to see how life unfolds..I feel like EVERYTHING is brand new....not sure why...my friend Lana tells me God has a hold on me??? Maybe!!! Its good...I am calm and content for the most part...I know this lack of motivation will leave and I will be revved up again. It just goes with the territory but sometimes it's a lonely journey...a little push would be awesome...always being the cheerleader is sometimes exhausting!
I don't want to sound like I am complaining because I really am blessed!
Once the SUN comes out I will feel better!
I will try to get on here more often and be better about logging in!
Hope it's sunny where you are!
Ciao
C

2006-12-27T08:15:00.000-08:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

WOW! I have been neglectful here, haven't I?

I have been so interested in learning about myspace that I have been lazy about my site. I got one complaint already from the myspace fans and that was that my pics don't get updated often enough. I will try to work on that this upcoming year!

Christmas has come and gone and now we are preparing for New Years! Everyone is reminiscing aobut 2006 and talking about having a BETTER year in 2007!? Sometimes I feel like too much emphasis is put on the NEW YEAR thing. We need to try to have better DAYS all around? We shouldn't just wait till January 1st to think about changing things to be better?so here's to making TODAY count!!! How's that?

I have beendieting and doing double cardios thorughout the season. It really hasn't been a big deal. I have done NO baking so it wasn't aaround but I did make the FAMOUS granola for gifts! There are NO treats hanging around my house..there are no tell tale signs of feasting. I left it all at my parents on Christmas. I have been getting a cheat meal a week and I was really looking forward to this last one as my carbs were lowered so I was hungry! We had baked stuffed shrimp (dad's specialty) and I made liguine with clams, cheese and crackers, wine, cookies. I felt DISGUSTING!!! It tasted good but my belly was real sick feeling after. Made me want to go right back to the clean food! I think it may have beenthe butter content in all the foods that I was not used to that got to me? I really don't mind the diet except when I feel hungry (like today).
Workouts have beengreat! I was doing a push/pull workout from Flex magazine that was different and gave me some sore muscle! Nicki and dave were in town for the holidays so we trained together twice and I don't know if I was just excited cuz they were here or what but I was STRONG! It doesn't hurt to see Dave pulling 6 plates on the hammerstrength row machine to ffire you up either, though!! The bad thing is that I won't see Nicki now till maybe the Arnold! That is over 2 months away! So today I looked into flights to Tuscon. There are actually some cheap flights right now for the end of January! If I go there it wil be easy to stay ont he diet and cardio train as Dave will be dieting too!? I may head out! We'll see? If I go there I probably won't go to Tampa??? such a hard decision...I want to go see ALL my peeps!
2007 NEEDS to bring momma a career change!!!! I need a new job! I have several new trainig opportunities with people who have been coming up to me in the gym lately too...so I want to be able to fit them all in. Traveling too much will get in the way of some of that!?

Cardio is on track. I am doing 2 30 minutes sessins right now and it feels pretty good actually witht he exception of my right shin. The PT is working on my hips and once those are totally straightened out I will be jus fine. The 30 minute sessions don't stress the leg as much as the 45 minutes. I gt to about 20 minutes before things really start flairing up.

I will be taking a quick trip up to NH this weekend to see my aunt and cousins and also to attend the NPC sanction meeting held in Manchester by David Follensbee and Maggie Blanchard. Then it will be back home by Sunday for massage and to cook my dad his Birthday dinner! He is a New Years Eve baby! I have been invited to a party hosted by my Latino contingecy here in Springfield...shoudl be fun to see some of those peeps but we'll see how I feel!

OK...I guess that is the update for now!!
Much luv and many blessign throughout the rest of the season!
Peace
C

2006-12-18T12:16:00.000-08:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

Hey ALL!

It's one week till Christmas...I hope you all are finished wiht your shopping!! I have pretty much everything done with just a few errands to do and very little cooking. Since I will be dieting through the holidays this year I have vowed not to be baking and cooking too much. I do have some home made granola to make, however.

So this weekend I had Alberto take pics for Tim and I am expecting to get ALL my adjustments very soon..less food, more cardio!? You know...the normal BB stuff! I had a great sushi cheat...all sorts of great rolls and fish @ ironchef in Londmeadow! It was a great meal.
yesterday was my cousin's pre-wedding party in New Hampshire. he is getting married this Thursday up in the White Mountains. He hoped to ski for his honeymoon but this lack of snow is not making it look promising. My aunt hooked up the snacks in the utmost of elegant ways! She had plenty of good protein choices; shrimp cocktail, lambchops, scallops wrapped in bacon, many cheese choices and other savories! I did take my second cheat there but I just nibbled on things. My real cheat of the day was 3 glasses of wine that I had! Anyway...because it wasn't a full meal I was hungry real quick! That will be my Christmas celebratin as far as food goes! I anticipate that the diet will go straight through now!
I thnk the nicest part of the day was seeing my cousins. i hadn't seen them in almost 2 years (some of them)...there just wasn't enough time to visit! My parents seemed to have a nice day? I hope they did!

so all...remember; Christmas should be about the birthday of Christ ...no stress...no hatred..no anxiety...just a birthday party! Be blessed
C

2006-12-12T08:27:00.000-08:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

Good day all!!!

Check out my profile page on myspace.com...I have beentrying to get that together lately...no easy task!

I am on target with my training and Tim has me eating a lot of clean food...I have to really work to get it all it. I feel like I have developed alittle layer of fat but this could have been due to the Thanksgiving haze I put myself in???? anyways..I feel on track for Sacramento right now...of course once Tim cuts my calories I may not be so chipper!!

I have to write in here that I have been going through some stuff lately and becaus3e of it I have dug deep to look at myself and God. Through this process he has shown himself to me and praying for peace I finally felt it the other night. It's funny how tirals test your faith and once you "give it up to God" He brings you gifts and answers your prayers. It sounds so elementary but...I am starting to actually FEEL it. It's very peaceful, actually. I almost have a sense of excitement now instead of anxiety to see how things "turn out". I know that the oportunities that will be brought to me will be better than what I have now...in some way!
The bottom line is that; I AM BLESSED! I am healthy, I have a roof over my head, my parents are here with me, I have many people who care about me and pray for me...I will never be destitute. I am truely blessed...things could be soooo much worse!
Take time out today to say your prayers and see YOUR blessings!
XO
C

2006-12-04T12:29:00.000-08:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

It is officially WINTER!!!!! It's cold, windy and grey out today! When the cold air hit my face I was like...WOW..it's here! Not my favorite time of year but we have been blessed wiht such mild weather all fall that I guess it is time! It's dark early and cold...HIBERNATION mode! Well at least I won't be getting fat this winter...since my diet OFFICIALLY started today as well. I am getting more food than I am use dto eating when I am not dieting...of course, it's ALL clean. But...I am not hungry..at all!
it
It's 12 weeks till SAC...I can do this...no matter whatever else is spinnign aorund me...I can do this. Keeping it positive and giving it up to God helps! Whatever happens will be for the best...I can handle it!
I ran into a guy in the gym today on my lunch hour, Dan Molta, that I haven't seen in years. When I first started lifting in 1995 he trained me for 6 months, until I kind of knew what I was doing. I saw my first bicep after training with him and was hooked! I guess he is partially responsible for where I am today as without his guidance I really wouldn't have known the basics of free weights! It was 4 years after that that I competed. I remember calling him to see if he would train with me again but he was busy getting married and had bought a house so he wasn't available. Anyway...it was awesome seeing him. He sounds like he is a very proud father so that is cool. I will be psyched to see him from time to time in the gym now!! Welcome back Dan!!
So this past weekend was actually pretty cool....I did a few things that I don't do too often (if ever). I spoke to the Agawam High werestling team about good nutrition...they were a captive audience...I went to an All Black affair on Saturday night and sunday I took my mom to one of the nicest malls inthe area. It was an awesome day with her. It's a beautiful mall and there was Christmas everywhere. We shopped mostly for thing she wanted which was cool. I really am blessed to have had this day with my mom!
So now..it's Monday...I pray that whatever comes at me this week I can handle with grace.
Have a good one all!
Be blessed
C

2006-12-01T13:46:00.000-08:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

TGIF!!!!

Ok...I just havae to vent a bit...I have been working on getting a page up on myspace forever. I have finally gotten like one picture up and a profile and some friends. I definately need some help getting it to look good but this stuff can be addicting!! I am glad you can add and subtract from your profile all the time. That is good cuase you can change how you want to present yourself. You can really get a different picture of people on there.
Interesting.......

Off to be blesed today...have a wonderful weekend...peace, positivity and prayers!
C

2006-11-30T07:58:00.000-08:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

Morning all!!! It's Thursday...one week post EAT FEAST!!! I hope we are all getting back on track!!!??? I started structured eating this week and doing doubles and then Tim told me everyhting starts next week! No biggie...it's better to ease into it sometimes.
I start with kind of a lot of clean food...more than I thought and single cardios...2 cheat meals a week?? Sounds almost excessive...but then he said he is going to be very aggressive with me "mid-stream" so I guess I should just take it now!!! Really, unless I have a function to go to I don't need a cheat meal...maybe if I don't take them both I can have one on Christmas???? I will have to think about that one! It's really not a big deal...Christmas is very quiet in my house...just my parents and myself, gifts, dinner and movie rental. It's usually very laid back. There isn't tons of food around but it is sometimes nice to have a decent meal when you have nothing else going on!? Whatever...it will be totally fine whatever we do!

So...it is unseasonable warm here...it's like 60 degrees and grey..like soupy...it's just kind of eery. It should be cool and crisp out not warm and humid??? Global warming??? Dont' think about it!!!

Feeling kind of broken today...kickboxing just kicks my butt!!! LITERALLY!!! i feel like a REAL old woman every time after class!! Like I have never worked out a day in my life! It's kinda rough...at least I am moving my stuff, right???
Ok so...training is going good...getting in good workouts, sore all the time and feel like I am growing...a little fat on me but you can still see abs so just a little strictness tot he food and things should be right on order!!!
Ok..gotta go look into flights for upcoming travels (already!!!)...let's get those cheap fairs by booking early!

Have a sunny day all!
C

2006-11-27T08:26:00.000-08:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

One week has passed since I had blogged!!!! I guess I have been "RELAXING"..out of the loop since last Wednesday! I didn't do cardio, train or eat my protien. I decided to give myself a TOTAL off the schedule BREAK. My body however; feels sluggish and lazy!!!! It's no wonder mos tpeople have NO motivation to go to the gym...they get lazy from lack of activity and eating ridiculous amoutns of food!!!!! I forgot what that was like and Ihave to say...I really don't miss it! I amnot sure how to describe my feelings about this "relaxing mode" because it may sound like I am just a freak but...people were saying "doesn't it feel good to just do/eat whatever?"..I guess there is a freedom to it but there is also guilt feeling s associated withit and the lack of structure is just...chaotic? I know I sound RIDICULOUS, right? Oh well... call me what you will...I think I feel better with a little structure to the eating and defiantely with the activity level!!!
OK so Thanksgiving was a nice change...let's see the glass half full! I was able to be with my friends and family...actually the people I love the most were around. My aunt came downa nd my parents came over...Jose stopped by..me and Sue (next door neight friend/family) cooked and went between the two houses for courses! The best part of the "freedom" of not beign on an eating or cardio schedule was that it freed up time for me to do erands, go shopping, cooking without having to do MY OWN stuff too! The no restricition on time thing was the best feeling!!!!
I did train on Saturday and did the gaunlet on Sunday. I actually had one PT client on Sunday and it reallymotivated me...I like trianing the people...it's fun to be able to teach and see them respond! I wished I could make a living from it!!! so it actually looks like I may have a few new clients coming on board for the holidays and new year. I already have aquired a contest prep client for 2007. It is nice that I have done absolutely no marketing and am still getting new peole interested!!!
So one holiday down and a couple more to go....I ended up being a lot less lonely than I thought this Thanksgiving...it was an unexpected surprise! I guess maybe that is how it shold be...another reason to be Thankful!!!!!
I have a good start ont he Christmas shopping and now I am just looking forward to planning the next couple of months...looking into getting away somewhere where I can stay on my diet and training plan but have some warm weather maybe!? Tuscon...Tampa..Atlanta (might not be warm enough!)????? We'll see what the time brings...have a blessed week everyone!!!
Ciao
C

2006-11-20T07:42:00.000-08:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

GOOD MORNING...it's MONDAY!

That last post was loooong...sorry, I guess i get a little winded sometimes or maybe I just have lots of rambling to do? Who knows??

Yesterday I was judging and guest posing at the Ct. States/Northeastern BB Championships. Mike Katz promotes this show with Dr. Dusa. It has been held the same weekend as Nationals for a few years now so this year was the first time I had been to this show in a while. There were quite a few competitors (about 70)and the Stone expediting crew (Arnie, Yvonne and Orin)were running things. The Steeles (Anthony and Lori) had the scores tabulating which sped things up so things went smoothly. Maggie Blanchard guest posed as well and Dave and she judged. It was fun hanging out with them for the evening and day. Heather Foster and Kai Greene were other IFBB pros in attendance and they complimented me at the end of the show. Coming from such great posers as them it really meant alot! kai won $10 Grand at teh Colorado Pro for being best poser! Mr. Katz sure was a great host!

But...what really has me FIRED UP today is...."DESERT MUSCLE"..John Romano from MD has asked me to help him coordinate a project to get a group of Pro BB's and himself to Iraq to support the troops. We want to feature the soldiers and how they stay fit in Iraq as well as give seminars, and posing exhibition and train with the troops. It is just in the planning stages right now but how cool would that be to be able to give back to the guys and girls who are sacrificing so much for OUR freedom!? I really hope this project kicks off as it would be an opportunity of a life time!
So I will keep yo posted on this very exciting venture!!!

Have a great week all..be blessed for all you have; family, friends, your health and home...
MANY THANKS TO ALL Y OF YOU!
C

2006-11-15T07:54:00.000-08:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

Hello all!

It's been a bit since I have blogged...sorry guys! I have been under extreme stress at my 9 to 5 and just have had a hard time getting my act together during the week...then I was in Miami since last Thursday for Nationals plus a couple days of R&R!

So Nationals in Miami is the absolute bomb!! The host hotel was in Miami Beach instead of South Beach so that was a bit in convenient. The beach out there is great but there is nothing around the hotels. It is about 3 miles from Sobe and the venue. If the hotel was closer it would have been alot easier to visit Sobe, shop and hang out. That aside though, being in Miami is just off the chain. I was able to do a lot of socializing along with the hard work. Tim and crew were there...he had 4 people in the show. Debi Lesewski won her card so Tampa Tim has another pro card under his belt. She was beautiful and was in a very competitive battle with veteran, Elena Sieple and Kristy Hawkins. I think overall the women were way more competitive than the men. Every class of females was just off the chain. jaimie Troxel won the lightweights, Lisa Bickles the middles, Debi and then Lora Ottenand won the heavies and overall. These women were just perfect and pretty! I was really jazzed. Local competitor and show promoter, Maggie Blanchard is rising up the aldder and took a third placre in figure short. The big controversy was the men's light heavy weight winer, Stan McCray. People felt that big, thick Charles Dixon should have taken the class. Although I love Stan...Charles was definately large and in charge! Desomnd Miller won the supers and overall and Lionel Brown tookt he heavies.

I got to spend time with Stacy at the Protan offices. It looks like a cool place to work. I think he would hire me if I would move south! He is awesome. He was in and out all weekend and we were able to get soem work done and planning done for 2007. He has to confirm the shows we are doing!
We all went out to the MD party as Dave Palumbo's guests...the limo was packed! It was great hanging out with Colette, Mimi and Amanda among the others! Kris Murrell was there and having a blast...she is a sweetheart...always bringing us treats! She is packed withpotential and once she gets her conditioning down..look out! The BSN party was at another place and I never got there. I had also had the opportunity to hang out with Big Bill and the Vyotech presidents onThursday night...they go first class...it was awesome just going along for the ride (int he limo!!!). Sunday night we hung out with the expediters, Vinny and Dr. Mike, Kris and Nicki and Dave. It was low key but nice!
I had 2 great shoots over the weekend; one with Barry Brooks and the other with Dan Ray! I hope the pics come out good? Off season shots are always iffy?
The best part of the weekend was just hanging in South Beach for a couple days...I moved in Sobe to theAlbion...awesome little spot and convenient to everything. I splurged on my first pair of $129 jeans!! I must be crazy! I just hung out, laid in the sun, trained, did cardio on Ociean Dr., shopped, had great sushi and even splurged on Gelato and low fat/carb soft serve! Not to mention all the MOJITOS!!!! Actually I think that was the worst cheat...the drinks!!!
I love Miami....I was walkign around just thinking what it would be like to ive there....in a littel studio right in Sobe? Getting up everyday toi warm weather and sun...what would my day be like????? Would I be lonely? Would I be able to financially survive? Would I love it as much if I was there all the time? I feel like, for me, it is the best of everything...it's a city but a beach too with shopping and everything you need within walking distance...a place where you would be fit all the time just form walking everywhere.

Where will life lead...huh? So back to reality...grey days...not cold though...it's weird how it's warm and humid in November???? I laid down in my bed last night and it felt soo good. i love my bed...it's safe, comfy and mine!!!!
OK all...I am rambling...Mimi and Amanda told me how they were reading my blog for a while...Gosh if they start reading this stuff they will think I have lost my mind, huh???
Anyway...off to work!
Ciao
C

2006-10-31T12:47:00.000-08:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

WOW! That was kinda deep the last time...huh?
Well, I have returned to the northeast...it was actually a beautiful day today..sunny and mild. I was pleasantely surprised! I didn't do a great job of getting back intothe swing of things yesterdat...I did get to cardio kickboxing though. Today I have done better, cardio int eh am and eating clean...
HAPY HALLOWEEN!!!
The boys next door are all excited..it's kinda fun to see them all dressed up and jacked for candy...brings back some fond memories...these holidays are really fun with kids around!

Yesterday before leaving Tampa I really had a good talk with my boy Jose..he was helping me to be objective and encouraging me to take risks...opportunities are all around me if I am just willing to take some risks. He actually believes in me where I don't believe in myself...maybe he knows more than I do about this. He knew I would be successful in bodybuilding. He told me it isn't in my poersonality to fail? He hasreally made me think. I know he is right...I feel the urge to move with this idea...I need to focus on this thought and pray for guidance. It's like being with family, being in Tampa. I am blessed to have the friendships I do there...

2006-10-29T19:56:00.000-08:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

It's been a beautiful day in Tampa Bay today!! I have been here since Thursday evening. I spent pretty much the whole day on Friday at body Tech, trained, did cardio, visited with Tim and Brandie and the other people in the gym. As usual...I felt like I had come home! We had sushi for lunch and had a few laughs...it was just great seeing them. As usual..never enough time. I went back into Body Tech the next morning to train and to try to see 2 national level competitors getting ready for Nationals; Debbie Barnes (ltwt) and Deb Lesewski. Unfortunately I left before seeing Deb L. I hear she is looking awesome. Debbie Barnes is looking pretty formidible also. I also hear that Beth Watcher is looking absolutely peeled! Boy am I glad I got my card last year...this line up is looking TOUGH!!!
The weather has been absolutely beautiful, sunny, clear and not too hot but perfect for being outside. I have done most of my cardios outside but have taken a couple sessions off. Tim is liking the idea of the Sacramento so if that is a go then it will be full on dieting starting Dec 1st! (12 weeks)Hopefully that will be enough since I am starting at a better start point. Tim and I will have to discuss this more...again...never enough time. I hate to use up what little time we do have with talking about me getting ready for a show.
The rest of the weekend was really relaxing..eating out , visiting with friends I haven't seen in ages, car shopping.

tToday was very special...I went to church at Grace Family church in Tampa and the minute I sat down I realized that something very special was going to happen..I was totally overcome with emotion. There was a live jazz orchestra and a choir of singers who were so joyful and passionate that I felt just filled up...the paster spoke about the Holy Spirit today and I truely felt like I was full. He said that when that little voice in you feels guilty or makes you wonder why you have done something that is the Holy spirit working inside you to persuade you to surrender yourself to Jesus. He said once you do that you will feel free and better...it doesn't mean you will be perfect but you will be more peaceful, you will want to do the right thing more. I felt like he was talking to me...urging me to do the right thing in my life...the honest thing. The Holy Spirit speaks the truth and if you are doing the positive things then positive things will return...I so believe in that anyway and this just confirmed that I need to be MORE positive...do the right thing...handle things in a kind and patient way..TRUST that I am not losing anything but am always blessed. The pastor said that pepole sometimes are afraid to surrender because they are afraid to fail or be hypocrites..he said that isn't the case and that we all make mistakes and fall sometimes but that seeing the liht and trying is still better. We can always try again. I kept telling myself to be present in that moment and enjoy it. Although I was overcome with emotion I also felt peaceful..almost tired when I left the church. Maybe it was the whole reason I was brought down here...to be at that service...who knows..maybe my life will change...I know that I need to feel better about myself as a person lately..I guess I need to listen to the Holy Spirit...do the right thing..

Goodness...I hope that I haven't gotten to wierd with all this today? There are so many feelings and thoughts I have been having that I almost can't get them into words...well, actually, I can't get them into words...I have to just "BE WITH IT" and TRUST that God will guide me..lift me up and heal me.

Peaceful sweet dreams
C

2006-10-25T08:57:00.000-07:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

It's Wednesday...tomorrow I leave for Tampa!!!! I am totally psyched...I am traveling and NOT WORKING!! Not only that but it was a gift so for once, people are taking care of me for a change! It is a very different feeling and I am looking forward to it! I can't say the last time I went anywhere and it was totally for pleasure?! I guess I should be counting this blessing?

I also have managed to get ALL the arrangements set for Nationals in Miami..all hotels, flights, product...for me and my crew. For a minute I didn't hink I would have it under control with all the screw ups that happened? I have confirmed Mary Hobbs and Joanna Thomas along with Dena Westerfield (at least for one night) to be working with me and Nicki! Imagine...nothing but IFBB pros working with the athletes? Cool.....nothing but the best for the top level amateurs!
I am staying a couple extra days and Stacy wants me to go to the Protan offices and have a sit down. I plan on using my 2 extra days to relax on the beach, do cardio outside and maybe get some things scheduled with Stacy for next year! Work opportunities may be popping up!!!! YES! I am not even planning on going out...just CHILL! This whole re-grouping thing I have been doing...I need to rethink the energy around me...everywhere! I am looking forward to that too!

Once I get back it will be Halloween...I usually hate Halloween for myself but I like to see the kids next door be all excited!

Been praying for Lana's son, Tony, he has been sick again...porr Momma Lana! I lit a candle yesterday and have been sending positive energy out! To Cathy's niece Kim too! Thank God I am healthy! I AM BLESSED.
Ciao
C

2006-10-24T08:42:00.000-07:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

Hard to believe it has been a week since I BLOGGED!!!! I just have kinda pulled myself out of the communication world...no phone, no email...off the boards...just have felt a bit like isolating...no maybe HYBERNATING" is a better word. Winter isn't here yet and I am ready to hybernate! I think all the cleanign out and re-organizing I have been doing in my house and office have made me want to do so in my head too???? KARMA...it's an interesting thing. I have decided that I must be an even better person to get back ALL the good karma the universe has for me...am I sounding too "crunchy"? I guess I have a side of that to me...maybe that is the answer to that question people ask during interviews..."tell us something that people would be surprised to know about you". I have this "mother earth" side to me that totally believes in communing with nature and the earth, being wholistic, being spriitual, surrounding yourself with positive energy...the whole KARMA thing...it's sooo true...BAD KARMA is a BITCH...so GOOD KARMA is the light!!!! OK, well anyway...I have to get better at sending out the GOOD stuff in ALL situations, not just ones I like. The hard or frustrating situations need positive energy too, it's osmetimes harder for me to do. Andy form Strong hold ministries told me to read John 14...it speaks to the idea that God wants us to love those people who are "in our face"...so when something negative happens to take a breath and think...I need to embrace this situation with patience (something I have to learn to do better) or love that person.

Anyway....enough of the Karmic experience today...on another note..the house cleaning...so this weekend I brought all my antique family pictures out of my bedroom and into the foyer/stairway. The Feng Sui book said how it brings bad energy into the bedroom to have family pictures in there. Besides, my mother told me the same thing...I think for very different reasons...she thinks peopel want to look at them? Either way...ti's something that I have been wanting to get done...so I did it! I have felt a great feeling of accomplishment by getting the stuff done around my house....it makes me want to have company in!

I can't wait to get the schedule for 2007 so I can plan my year! That is another hting I like to do so I have something to look forward to....I should just go with the flow but...I just like to be prepared!

Vicki Nixon emailed me to let me know that not only has John Lindsey dropped Figure for FBB in his 2/24/07 show in Sacramento but he is requesting 2 weight classes. It almost makes me want to jump in it to support his efforts! Sacramento is only an hour and a half awaay form Lana...I could base out of there??? I haven't gone crazy with diet or cardio as I am trying to maintain a good condition for guest posing...I don't have to worry about "gaining size"..I will never be big enough and don't really want to be? Definately more than just a fleeting thought? OK...so I guess I will pray on it..the universe will help me decide...he-he...sounds pretty wholistic huh????
Ciao
C

2006-10-20T12:46:00.000-07:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

It's like Forida today!!! It's grey, rainy, warm...ya know how when you walk outside in Florida on a rainy day the warm humidity hits you in the face? Tha's what it is like today..only difference is that there are brightly colored leaves falling and no palm trees!!! The really weird thing is that tomorrow it will probably be cool and crisp in the air. It changes so drastically and quickly...if you close your eyes form one day to the next you can almost feel like you are somewhere else....OK am I sounding crazy??? SORRY!

Well they have added one maybe 2 more pro FBB shows to the 2007 IFBB roaster and that is still tentative. Vicki Nixon told me that Jon Lindsey dropped figure to promote FBB at his Sacramento show one week prior to the Arnold and he may even be trying to get 2 weight classes. It almost makes me want to go! I feel excited about all this...something tells me it is POSITIVE...I can't wait to see how things turn out for 2007? Tim has requested his show for 9/15 so if the Olympia sticks with 9/30 again we should be clear on that. All I really need is to know what Stacy's plans are for us next year so I can sit down with my 2007 calendar and plan......CAN'T WAIT!

So this weekend I have nothing but more organization planned..more cleaning, getting rid of furniture...maybe even redecorating a few things in the house. I will hit the gym, do my cardio and go to Seth's socceer game. I am spending family time on Saturday evening ...all the rejuvenating things you do to get your positive energy restored!!!! anyone else on the same path??? It's supposed to be sunny and cool...beautiful fall weather...motivating to get things done!! I am feeling very blessed today...
PEACE

2006-10-17T07:28:00.000-07:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

Driving to work today it is a preview of the ong, cold, grey, depressing winter to come! Some trees have no leaves already and the sky is grey and forboding! YIKES! Now yesterday was a different story! The leaves that are left are brilliant colors, the sky was blue and clear. The sun was out and warming things up. It was gorgeous! Welcom e to New ENgland and the unpredictability of the days!
My web master was supposed to go to Canada this week to "peep" the leaves..thank God for Devine Intervention...the ice storm in Buffalo thwarted his travels! Upon initial disgust that he was flying NORTH this time of year a day like yesterday almost had me convinced that he mayhave had something with the "leaf peeping"! Me personally...Florida is a better option at this time of year...pretty much guarenteed great weather and sunshine!

So this past weekend had me cleaning things out...my house, my clothes, my desk at work (last Friday), old bills, you name it...if it isn't serving me a positive purpose...IT'S OUT!!!! This weekend my guest room furniture is being brought to a friend who needs it for her grandchildren so that room will have to be redone! I just have this need right now to really clean out and simplify! Interesting enough my aunt and a couple friends ;did the same thing...maybe it is in the air!? Or maybe it is just "hybernation mode"? Not sure but after this weekend I am traveling again and then it will be Thanksgiving so this reorganization was much needed! I feel like I can thin clearer even! That is always necessary!
As far as training? WEll...I haven't really been hitting the iron. I have tried to maintain a double cardio schedule and a pretty clean diet. This past weekend I went off a bit andhad some wine and didn't do ALL my cardios but for the most part I have stuck to it. I have returned to kickboxing...boy, it is amazing how it always makes me feel like I have never worked out a day in my life. My wind is aweful and my joints are hrting. I already feel like I have torked my hips...I am just gonne try to be consistent with this until I have to go back to PT! I love it..it just kills me...maybe this is where I am showing my age!? Who knows?
I have been doing a little all over pump type training a ocuple times per week so far...nothing strenuous. I just don't have the motivation right now and feel like I can't fit EVERYTHNING in. My PT clients are every Tues/Thursday and Kickboxing is MON/WEd (Friday if I don't make it the other 2 days). That leaves me NO appointment time for personal appointments except for lunch! It's all good ...I feel OK about it. I feel it was more important to do the cleaning and organizing this past weekend than putting the time into the gym (2 cardios are an hour an a half of my day as it is!)
I just know that if I can keep the off season fat to a bare minimum I will be able to have the conditioning I want for my next show. That is my total concentration for next year...CONDITIONING. size isn't so important to me..reshaping my glutes and condiditoning!
gonna fly..pretend it is sunny!
Ciao
C

2006-10-13T06:51:00.000-07:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

WEll it's Firday the 13th!!! It's a cold sunny day inthe Northeast but the way things have been going around here I am definately looking behind my back!!! I am sure that things can only go up from here!!

So let's start with last weekends guest appearance in Derry NH at the Northeast Tournament of Champions! Big Bill Wilmore came in on Friday and hung out in Springfield...we went to the barber, the mall (he forgot his warm clothes!), my parents for home made apple pie in his honor and to eat several times (he is still eating every 2 hours)....NOTICE, I didn't say we went to the gym!! Well...that's cuz we didn't! I wanted to train and he said he did too before he got here but then....coming off the "O" I think he is RELAX mode!! Hanging out with these big BB isn't a good influence on me!lol I was able to resist the temptation of him eating sweets...I knew I couldn't get away with that and look OK at the show the next day!!
So Saturday 10/7 arrived and we..ATE! and then jumped in the car to go north...never thinking that it was not only Columbus Day weekend but also peak Leaf Peeping time!! Goodness...the traffic was dead stop on the highway! We did get ther in time for me to judge...jsut barely! STRESS!!!! The show went off without a hitch..Maggie and Dave put on a great show with no glitches!! There was some pretty good competition too...some of the calls were very difficult to make and close! The only disappointment to me was that there were no female BB in the show at all!!! That breaks my heart! So I guess that my job of trying to prove FBB can be pretty and marketable is gonna be tough in the Norhteast!
The night show went well...I did my "Big spender" routine and got a lot of great feedback. Mnay of the women spoke to me about being afraid to be a BB till they saw me! So I am startign to plant the seed. Hopefully their boyfriends in the audience thought the same thing? There was 4 guys there in wheelchairs..talk about inspirational! They garnered a lot of attentin from MIke Katz and Bil..of course they deserved it! WE all took pictures with them. Note to self...I am SO BLESSED! Big Bill came out much after me and then at the end of his routine he called me out and we went into the crowd. The crowd was psyched and very responsive to us! Ron Harris was there snapping pictures that he later posted on his thread on Mayhem (Daily Pump). He is always so complimentary to me and I really appreciate it! We all got out of there around 10 pm! I was starved. Big Bill bought me a nice diner and we drove to Manchester where Maggie and Dave put us up. We met them at a local club but it was last call by the time we got there...Vegas this wasn't!!!! Good thing though as I was beat!
Sunday brought another beautiful sunny day...we ate breakfast and I drove Big Bill south. Before heading him to the airport for his flight we stopped in Springifeld and met up with my room mate Damaris for lunch...couldn't put the big guy on the plane on an empty stomach!!! He was off to Ireland this week for appearances!! He is more of a traveling fool than me!!
Monday found me with a full schedule of personal training. I figured I would line up the one shot appointments and schedule in the regulars! The rest of the day I picked up mom and went to the mall and then met Damaris for a movie...the DEPARTED! Real violent, typical mobster/police drama. It was good though...kept the interest and heart rate up!
So here we are on Friday getting ready for the weekend.....I don't have any plans but to clean, organize and buy groceries...big deal right!! Sounds good to me right now!
Till later
Ciao
C

2006-10-04T08:05:00.000-07:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

Hey all!! Happy HUMP Day!

I am back from Vegas...still feeling the effects of the hard work and Sin City!! Exhaustion would be the word!! I am not sure where to start with the whole Olympia experience! I think it was more exciting than actually competing in my pro debut!!
I got in on Wed before the show after almost missing my 6 am flight!!! I slept through the alarm and if is wasn't for my mom calling to see if I was on my way...I never would have got there!!! I made record time thanks to my mom's Mario Andretti driving and jumped on the plane hoping that I hadn't forgotten anything especially Big Bill Wilmore's food!!!
Upon arrival to Vegas it was a beautiful sunny , hot dry day and I jumped into my rental..an adorable PT Cruiser convertible!! Boy was that fun ride..it was all retro inside and so easy to put the top down. I didn't care if I was melting as I drove around all day cause I was thinking that it was only a matter of time before I will be complaining about the cold nasty New England weather!
I got to the host hotel and Bill had already checked in. We were not able to get a fridg in the room (which sucks!) but I immediately started feeding the machine!! The first 2 days were getting things organized for Protan and feeding Bill, greeting friends and running errands. I was able to get a good work out in on Thursday with Q from Lana's thread and hung out with he and Nida for quite a bit that day! Stacy Kaufman from Protan had also arrived and we met regularly to get things in order for our work with the athletes.
Mary Hobbs was an excellant addition to the Protan team as she was in charge of spray tanning the athletes that had signed up. This was a complimentary service from Protan for these elite athletes. Mary worked her tail off!!! Gustavo and Gunter are big boys!!!!
The press conference was held on Thursday...it was a bit long for the athletes to have to sit up there and answer questions but it was pretty exciting. I was so excited for Colette and Dena (rookies) that I was almost bursting. It realy struck me overall the actual respect and camaraderie between the athletes. The hosts; Dan Solomon and Bob Chick, were trying to get them to talk trash to each other but it was really all done in jest and you could see that the athletes really seemed to respect each other. It was cool! The Meet the Olympians was held that night and was totally packed!! It was fun to visit with the fans and people who had come in that day as well as visit with the athletes! Ronnie and Jay had lines sooo long it was crazy!
Thursday night I was up late painting Toney Freeman who looked incredible too!!! He has such a beautiful physique and is just he nicest guy. Jay Hammet and Kelly his wife were with him...again I wished I had had more time to visit with them!!!!
Friday was a big work day as we had to be at the expo early to get ready for womens' prejudge at 11 am. I made sure Bill had all his food and showed him how to heat it up on the Foreman and took off in the PT cruiser!!
The expo was definately twice the size maybe more of the one last year and real busy. It looked more like the Arnold expo this year! Working with the women backstage was just awesome...I was so inspired. There were Figure, Fitness and BB women. It seemed easy compared to our big national level shows as there were only 20 something women in each class verses 150!! It was real nice to be able to give them individual attention and really take good care of them. It was just unbelievable that we were there!! We have really progressed through this little job into making it a big deal thanks to Stacy!! The women really seemed to appreciate our help and TLC!! Hopefully that will help get us back next year!!
Friday night had us backstage at the Orleans Arena with the men's prejudge and then womens finals! This was just awe inspriring being there with the men.
The entire time Andy and Mike from Stronghold Ministreis were there to pray with the athletes and help us out!! They are the absolute best. I cannot thank them enough, especially Andy for watching over me! They are true angels and I am blessed that God has brought them to me! The criteria for the comparisions was changed and it was very exciting. They never called out more than 4 guys and always in numerical order so you never really knew who was in first or second. You had an idea of the top 4 and then next group but never sure of the exact order. It also made it harder for the athletes as they were on stage working harder and longer. They were beat and needed some attention off stage when their group was done. It was pretty cool that they kept coming right to us for advice and help. It seemd they were comfortable and really trusted us and that was also very cooooool!!!
They women's finals ended up something like this: Figure: Jenny Lynn, Amber Litteljohn, Monica Brant, top 3. Fitness: Adela Garcia, Kim Klien, Jenny Hendershot. BB: Iris Kyle, Dayana Cadeau, Annie Riveccio, Bonnie Priest, Lisa Aukland, Betty Pariso. It was real exciting!!

So Saturday found me in the expo most of the day. I had gotten Bill's food ready again for the day and cooked up or threw out the remaining steak. He hadn't gotten the call outs he would have liked but he looked unbelievable and definately bested himself. Working with Hany again was cool. He and I seem to have a pretty good system now. I so look forward to working with him again next year!!!! Hopefully we can have more clients together.
The expo was packed and many people came up to the booth to visit me; the Lana Familia was all in the house; Sage, Jax, AJ, Doc, Beth, Rick, Lisa, and sooo many more! I didn't get to visit with Luke Wood to much but he was working. (When I got home there were 2 dozen roses waiting for me from him for helping him out in Atlantic City! What a sweetheart.) We sold pretty much everything which was key!!! I was supposed to shoot with Steve Wennerstrom but I missed his call due to the noise in there!! I was disappointed about that. After the expo it was off to the Arena for the finals.
Once again...the excitement was in the air. Taking care of the pros is a really different vibe. They are definately more prepared. Not many had color issues which was a treat. It gave us the opportunity to really take care of everyone. Ronnie wasn't around the pump up area for the night show. He had his own entourage with him. Talk about exciting...Gooness!! Not for nothing..I rewspect ALL the athletes but Jay really was on and I think his win was well deserved. It was crazy excitement when he was called as first! So it went like this: Jay Cutler, Ronnie Coleman, Vic Martinez, Dexter Jackson, Melvin Anthony, Gustavo Badell. All the guys seemed to be pretty on this year. Toney cam in 7th which was totally awesome for his Olympia debut!! He looked incredible. The biggest dissappointment of my night was that Dave Henry did not make the top 15. This is pretty unbeleivable since he brought his best package yet and was totally on!! He has had awesome placings all year and definately deserved better. Big Bill didn't finish in the top 15. He was dissagpppointed but he looked unbelievable and was on stage with the best in the WORLD!!! It's hard to go from winning and being in the top 2 for years to middle or bottom of the pack...Iknow..but we are pros and have to start form the beginning. Unless you are Phil Heath..not many of us can just jump up there and start winning right away. WE all need to have an open mind and realistic mindset now!! By Sunday though big Bill was laughing and joking and jovial as usual! He is a true champion and professional, not to mention an outstanding solid man! I love this guy...he is an awesome and loyal friend!!

OK...so on to the party...the lines for food were so damn long I skipped eating (why not, I didn't eat that weekend anyway cause of no time)and just got ready to go to Lana's party at MIxx. We got there and I have to say I was a bit cranky at first (hungry, tired) but I snapped out of it when I saw all the Mayhem peeps. It was awesome hanging out with everyone! There weren't many industry peeps there as they were at their own parties. That kinda sucked but our group was so much fun that it didn't really matter. We moved onto the Empire where we thought we would have seen everyone else. Big Ron and Alti, Art and his girl, Chris Cormier and his friend were all there. Hany joined the group too. It was a fun time. Sunday was time to crash, get a late check out, pack up the food supplies from Bill;'s room and do a photo shoot!

Yes...I dragged my tired butt out of bed to do a Dessert shoot with Dan Rey. Mary Hobbs came with us and met Paco Gutierrez out there too for a shoot! I was tired but I needed to take advantage of beign in shape and being in the dessert. The pics are awesome and I am now sooo glad I went! Sunday night was low key. I wanted to hook up with Dave and Nicki but they were doing family stuff and I was so tired I just hit the bed!
Monday...it was cardio, pack and out!!!
My Olympia experience was off the chain...the only complaint is that I didn't get to visit with people like I would have liked!!
I will have my web guy post pics as soon as I can!!

Much love
C

2006-09-25T15:38:00.000-07:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

I am back from my wade through the IFBB pro waters...it was not a SPLASH but rather a wade. It was a totally awesome experience. I had a blast. My routine was totally on target and my mom loved it!! That was the biggest goal achieved for this show was having my mom be there and to do a special routine for her , which I did. I choreographed a routine to "Big Spender" from Sweet Charity in typical Bob Fosse style and she loved it. I had a chair and a hat and heels. I knew the minute I stepped onto the stage for it that it was ON! It was very special to have my mom there with me since she hasn't been able to come to see me compete since 2001 due to being on O2 24/7. She is my bigest fan and has bought herself a gold bangle bracelet for every win culminating in a bangle with diamonds for my pro card win. She displayed them so proudly all weekend and told anyone who was willing to hear about them. I have to say...she was really the hit of the weekend. The athletes, promoters, photographers all loved her and made of her all weekend. It was so cute to see these big guys flirting with her, wheeling her around in her wheel chair, kissing her hand and posing for her!! She was the lady of the hour for sure and I was sooo happy.
My girl NIcki came in and I am soo blessed she did. She took over for me catering to my mom while I was backstage and competing so I dind't have to worry abou that. Plus I felt such a sense of releif when she got there. I just caa't imagine doing it without her. Tim and Brandie came in on Friday too. It was soooo good having them there with me. And then to top everything off Maggie and Dave made the trip all the way down that Saturday just to see me. I am soo blessed.

As far as how I felt I looked....well today I saw a couple prejudging pictures and I have to say I am a bit embarassed that I didn't beat myself! I looked good but not great. I weighed myself on the scale ther and it said I was 112. Before I left home I was 110 so I am not sure if that is acurate but if it is that means I was up 6 pounds from last year. I don't think I nee to weigh more...I think I should have been tighter. Becasue I am so small I need to be shredded to make an impression. That willb e the game plan next time! In retrospect I guess I didn't work hard enough along the way and I am on a mission to do better for next time. I am committed to eating cleaner and revving up my cardio to a higher intensity even in the off season so that I am always ahead of schedule. I know how I should look and it didn't happen this time. NO worries..live an dlearn. I am not comparing myself to the other girls but to myself...
My interim game plan is to be somewhat loose this week although I will keep the cardio up but once I get back form Vegas it's on! I will be back to double cardios and clean eating. I have 2 guest posing appearances to make and I want to maintain my condition as I have it now. There is absolutely no need to do otherwise!!
It's absolutely so crazy that just 2 days post show I look at myself and I look great but I certainly don't look competition ready (already). I look about 2-4 weeks out...so I will strive to maintain that for as long as I can and as I get closer to the appearances I will tweak things a bit to look sharp for the appearance. So hopefully the next time I compete I will be making a BIG SPLASH in the IFBB!!!

As I looked around backstage and saw the different little groups of ladies or the ones that were alone I decided that I would make friends with as many of the women as possible and have fun. So...I shared wine and introduced myself to as many of the women as I could and had a great time. That is really the point anyway. These women are from all over the US and the world. It's very interesting. There is supposed to be a vote for 2 weight classes comng up at the O. That would be just awesome..hope it goes through.
Lisa Aukland won the show and she should have...she was perfect. She is muscular, totally shredded and still really pretty. She is such a great representative of the sport. She is smart, articulate, feminine and pretty. She hung out in my room in between prejudge and the night show as the hotel wouldn't honor her late check out as planned. It was fun having her and her husband Tom visiting with us! She is awesome and on her way to make a splash at the O!
Luke Wood spent a lot of time with us also as I helped him with his color. He had just flown in form Sydney...such a long flight to compete!! He looked great and I believe was in the top 10. I cna't imagine what he would have looked like if he had dieted for longer than a couple weeks and dind't have to be flying so close to the show!?? He is a very sweet Big Aussie..he surprised his girl Kim Perez. She didn't know he was ocming until she saw him there so they must have had a nice time catching up. He is heading out to be with her after the O. Nice peeps!!
Marcus Haley took a 4th. He was clearly disappointed as he had been called out as 3rd all day. He was able to rebound form the disapointment after talking with Mr. Manion. WE all went out and had an awesome time. He was a total comedian the entire time. ME and Nicki were laughing so hard we were getting ab cramps!!!!! Anyway...if he can just stay focused he will be fine!!! It was pretty cool cuz during the pose down the guys came into the audience and he posed for my mom right in front of her!! She was hyped!

On Sunday I shot with Paco Gutierez at the beach. It was an awesome shoot and I am sure I will have some great artistic shots form what I saw. They will all be in black and white so I am anxious to see them. He is still trying to get his site up and has some financial backign to do so so he is on a roll. He is great. Another guy named Alex gave my mom a picute he designed of me and that is asesome. Its a fantasy picture and it looks futristic with me in it. It's just great and I need to get it up on the site. I emailed him today to ask him to email it to my webmaster to get it up. It's really , really cool!
OK...so true to my word...I am off to do cardio!!!
Stay fit and be postive
Ciao
C

2006-09-19T07:44:00.000-07:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

4DAYS TO GO!!!!

It's almost here! The last few days have been a bit rough but that goes with the territory. Working the day job is really the problem!!! If only....
Just trying to keep everything organized is crazy!!! Plus I have to be in Vegas for the O, 3 days after my show!!! Anyway...the good thing is that I didn't have to get up and do cardio this morning for the first time in MONTHS!!!! I still got up early and practiced my routine...figured posing was good while I had a little energy! Who knows...maybe I will crash after I train. The game plan is to train onmy lunch hour so I am not totally crashed. If I waited till after work??? I am not sure if I could get through it. Every muscle I have is sore from posing...you would think I am not in shape...how crazy is that!?

I've made a couple calls to favorite photographers regarding shoots to try to get that organized and I have started packing ...there is sooo much stuff to bring. I will cook tomorrow night once I know the carb up schedule. I send Tim more pics tonight!! Oh yeah!!! The best news ever is that
Tim and Brandie will be in AC!!! At the last minute they found a resonable flight! I never expected them to be able to make it with their show the following weekend and all. My debut will be complete for sure!!

You know..it's very interesting to see who is around checking up on you before a show. Some people you think would be holding you up aren't around and others that you would never think of to be there are? This show I have felt really alone..I haven't been down to Tampa like normal and NIcki is gone and no one in the gym is getting ready really...it's wierd. It's such an individual sport but it's so much easier with a good support team. My room mate Damaris, has been awesome and so has my friend Sue and of course my parents...they are the absolute best. My mom and dad always go to the wholesaler to get my chicken and clean it and bag it for me. Just little things like that are soo helpful!
Anyway...the journey seems to always hold something different!

I would love a big light latte with carmel!!!! Soon....

2006-09-15T11:44:00.000-07:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

TGIF!!!!!

Yeah! 8 days to SHINE!!!! WOW...I am psyched that it is the weekend and all I have to do is get my routine straight, finish up the last of my cardio sessions (on Sunday!), do laundry, start packing, and not think about being hungry!!! I am psyched! I just don't have the gas to be working!!!!

I feel pretty relaxed, actually, except maybe that is cuz I am a bit tired?? Not sure? Either way, I am starting to shape up. I just love how I look lean! I can see a big vein on my left bicep and little ones on my shoulders. I can also see the veins in my lower abs but they come and go. I am not sure if the glutes are tight yet but they sure feel it. As a matter of fact the joints are feeling creaky too! All that goes with the last minute territory.

I am trying to keep the day job work load kinda light where possible cause thinking is sometimes a chore. Other times it amazes me how much I actually have gotten done?? MIND OVER MATTER, right??

More pics to Tim tonight so he knows where I am at. I will have Berto take them cause he has a good camera and they will come out clear.

OK..see what I mean..ran outta gas...I have these littel bursts of energy..this one is over!
Check ya out later
C

2006-09-12T11:47:00.000-07:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

Hello all!
WEll...I got back yeterday from my photo shoot with Reg Bradford. We shot in the gym and his studio in New Jersey on Sunday! He always makes me look sooo good. I am not sure if I look like a bodybuilder but I love the look I have none the less. We are gonna shoot again in Atlantic City...I will be a totally different body by then..only 1 1/2 weeks away.

I wished I could load a picture on here but my program won't let me!?? I tell ya what...I really don't care what type of call out I get..I am very happy with what I look like right now..it's a really pretty look.

Shooting with Reg made me be able to see how pretty my body is right now. There is no way that people could pssibly say FBB are too big and ugly and manly...no way! I just hope that someone in magazine land or int he industry can embrace this look and help out FBB!

I am coming along pretty good..my glutes need tightening so Tim has me doing step ups and lunges daily for 5 days. I will be carb depleting on Sunday so we are really coming into the home stretch. Istill don't have my music done ihich is giving me an excuse not to work on my routine but I know what I want to do so I will just get it done!! With all this ephedra I am taking I don't feel as tired at night so I should be able to get it done! I also amnot as hungry!!! Finally!! It's just crazy how every prep is different!! Things in your body change, your taste buds change, you look different ...it's crazy. I have gotten over my ice cream dreams and now am just craving a sandwich!? Wierd, huh? A nice grilled painni would be nice!? Who knows?? Life is crazy!!!

OK all...I gotta fly back to work...I am gonna send off a pic to my web master so maybe he can log it on here!!!
Ciao Bellas

2006-09-06T12:39:00.000-07:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

WOW!!! I think I have had an epiphany? Is that what it is called when all of a sudden you see a vision...get goosebumps and it's like a light bulb goes off???

OK..so I amin the gym training on my lunch hour...LEGS! I am functioning on about hlaf a cup of rice for carbs and am feeling lazy. One of those days you wished you had someone there with you to put the weights on and off the machines! OK...so I am doing this superset workout that I happen to like at this stage; extensions and leg curls, hacksquats and dumb bell stiff legs, leg press and one leg seated curls (all sets of 15-12 with moiderate wieghts, little rest in between and 4 sets. I finish off this crap shoot with one leg step ups (10 each leg) and walking lunges (50) superset. I get to my last set of everything and am feeling pretty spent...CD is blasting "sexy Back" by Justin Timberlake and I am sucking wind. i think..."maybe 2 sets of this is enough?"...then all of a sudden I had this vision, goosebumps and my hair was tingling. I saw Iris Kyle..I thought.."there is no way she is not doing her last set of ANYTHING!" I don't know why she popped into my head cause I have never really even aspired to be like her but all of a sudden she was there and the realization that I would be stepping on a PRO stage hit me like a ton of bricks. I AM A PRO! I almost started tearing up with emotion...I was overwhlemed!
Need less to say...I not only did my last set but I added reps to it too!! THERE!!! If Iris can do it so can I. I am the MIGHTY LIGHTWEIGHT! I know that moments like that don't happen often...WOW!!!! Thanks Iris!

2006-09-06T09:02:00.000-07:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

Hard to believe that the summer of 2006 is gone!!!
Labor Day is over and the nights are already cooling off. East coast fall weather feels to be in the air! Now ...I love the fall but it has been rainy and cloudy for days and I just am getting the feelinglike the damn winter blues are gonna be here toooo fast!

Nicki left on Monday...she is officially living in AZ with Dave Henry..her going away party was Sunday and she and I spent a few hours on Monday saying goodbye. She said.."people are treating me like I am dying, I am jsut moving!" She is right but I had to tell her that life will forever be changed now and people are just mourning the loss of the life they have had with her. Having her around is like the sun is always shining ...that is hard for people to give up! She is living my dream and I am sooo happy for her. Godspeed my dear Leo sister!

I had a cheat the other night..ribs and salad with dressing..the good ol fat and protien cheat..well I didn't even finish the whole thing and a few hours later was woken from my sleep throwing up! Guess my body was telling me something!! NO more ribs for me! could I get a bagel though??? he-he All I realy feel like having is a big bowl of Kashi cereal with a protien shake over it!! Been dieting too hard!

Feeling pretty tired, even with Ephedra! I have to get more posing in! Gotta go train for lunch!! Might as well doing something since I really can't eat! lol
Trying to get up on my space too but having some technical difficulites..figures, right?!

If only I didn't have to go to a day job...I would have soo much more time!

WEll..gotta go get psyched up for legs!!!
Peace
C

2006-09-01T11:07:00.000-07:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

I can't believe that tomorrow I will be 3 weeks away from my pro debut!!
I definatley have the foggy brain syndrome of a dieting BB! That's for sure! Multi-tasking isn't the easiest thing right now!

I finallyhooked up my new printer this week!!! I havne't figured out how to rpint off pictures yet but...it's an awesome machine so I think it will be easy!

I also got my pics back from Vegas from my shoot...they came out pretty good. My body has changed so much since then..I love the look I have right now!!! I wished I could keep this all year!? I wonder if I could? I guess double 45's would do the trick!!! WOW!
My waist is tiny and so my shoulders look bigger, I dont' have any back fat (just alittle sharpae puppy skin on my glutes), you can see definition buyt not super dry fine lines and my face still looks good, not like a cancer patient.
I set up a shoot with Reg Bradford for next Sunday so I hope I keep my face and don't look too flat for that! he is awesome to shoot with and we will be able to get some gymshots in as well as studio!

I have to work for Vyotech doing 2 demos this weekend. I didn't want to do anymore cauze I knew I would be too tired if I did/ I am meeting with my suit lady, Maggie Blanchard, on Saturday in NH so she can get the fit perfect and to pick out a prejudge fabric! Then I will crash at my aunt's. That's isn't too taxing cause Auntie Donna will hook up the organic chicken on the grill...it's sooo good!

Sunday night is NIcki's going away party....I hope I can hold up OK. It's times like these I wished I had a little more comfort...it's gonna be like not having a right arm once she is gone. Even though we don't see each other everyday..we go have coffee or sushi or she stops by to take pics for me. I just know that if I callher she is there! I am gonna miss her terribly...my Leo sister. Dave comes in tonight and they go to the Cape for the night...Ok not thinking about it!!!!

3weeks till AC and 4 till the O...I will see her then...no big deal, right?

XO

2006-08-28T11:17:00.000-07:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

Hello all!!

I'm back form the Europa and ready to kick ass for the next 4 weeks. It was awe inspiring to see the women on stage and just walking around all weekend. I have to say that I DID NOT feel ready around them!! SEeing the newer pros that I have competed with was great and seeing the older pros who have been competing for years was just....OH MY GOD! There were moments when I was watching them perform their mandatories solo that I thought"What am I gettingmyself into???" Not only am I not in that league but I am not sure if I want to be?? Then they called out the top 5 and it was such an inconsistent bunch of physiques that I felt like..."OK, this is a crap shoot!...It is what it is and so ...let's just go!!" There was no consistencies in the physiqures but there were 2 newer pros in top 3 with qualifications for the O. It made me wonder...are they trying to bring fresh blood into the sport, a new look? Not sure what was behind the caall but anything can happen and it doens't really matter who the top 5 is...they are all champions and pros! I also realized that probably the most improtant thing to do up there is present yourself like you belong there...like you are a professional! Bring the positive mojo to the stage and ju;st make them love you!!! No matter what happens there is plenty of fan support.
All the girls that qualified will still be competing in Atlantic City as well as Betty Pariso, Cathy Priest , Marja Liehenton and who know who else. It will be a stacked line up for sure. Everyone gets to poise so my routine will be importnatn and not matter what mymom will get o see my routine! So...all in all...my fear dissapated as the evening wore on.
It was nice to see so many friends in the sport. I roomed with Debbie Bramell and she is just awesome. With both of us dieting and doing cardio we stayed totally on track (of course she does less cardio than me!). i did n't really get caught up on any sleep. Although I didn't party I was up every morning by 6:30 to go train and do cardio and then to get on the plane howm (5:30). Need less to say, I am tired. Idefinately need a day when I can just sleep until I can't anymore and then do cardio. Phsyically my body feels good, no hurts and pains but mentally I am a bit delusional. I get real spacy and REAL hungry!! It's hard to multi-task at this point?

My night show suit was waiting for me when I got home along with some free suppliments from a company called HYTECH who have awesome thermogenics! I absolutely love my suit but the top is too small...imagine that!? I called Maggie (maggiefit.com) and she is going to adjust it! It's gorgeous. It's cherry red velvet with blue/green stones and crystals! She did an awesome job!
Big Bill was in Texas woo...dietng and trianing as well. While we were there we spoke with Maggie and Dave about our guest posing appearances at their show after the Olympia. all arrangements are made and it's confirmed. Bill wants us to both be on stage together...that oughta be interesting. I told him it would be the Beauty & the Beast!!! he-he
My mom and feeling pretty good and getting excited to go to AC! My dad is well too but he doens't usually make the trip. I am feeling so blessed that mom has recovered from her last bout of the penumonia. It's always scary when she gets sick!

My girl Nicki will be heading out for good a week form today. Her going away party is this Sunday night. I am gonna try not to think about it...OK I gotta go (sniffles)

I feel like I am forgetting something...

Ciao
C

2006-08-23T10:50:00.000-07:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

WEll, well,well!!! It's hump day!! My work week will be over after today. i head out for Europa tomorrow. Debbie Bramwell will be coming in and meeting me there as we are sharing expenses. I can't wait to see the girls!!!! I amvery excited to see them compete, watch them pose, get scared...no, not really! GET INSPIRED!!!!! It will beawesome to get away. i have been home for 3 weekends now and am a little bit itchy to get outta here!! It will actually feel like a vacation since I don't have to work...AT ALL!!! I just have to train, do cardio (day off Sunday!) and have fun! i get a cheat meal on Saturday so....I am psyched for that, very ready! No carbs before or after but it will be worth it.

My training and cardio has been on schedule. I haven't missed a thing. My diet is on scheudle too. I am feeling a lot leaner...still want to be harder (maybe I am just flat?) I have my tired days however, it goes with the territory.

It's been beautiful summer weather here...I am dreading the change to winter. Fall is OK...but winter...YUK! I NEED the sun. I know you guys are sick of hearing that on here.

I will chcek in again later!!!
Big Italian Hugs
C

2006-08-18T08:36:00.000-07:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

TGIF!!!!
Glad it's Friday..gotta get OUT in the SUN!!!! Of course it's supposed to rain this weekend. My trainer told me I was looking pale!! It's the end of summer and I am PALE..this is a testament to how much I have worked this summer./..I haven't seen outside except for one day last week!!! My 2-3 days int eh tanning booth just isn't cuttingit. I am gonna make sure I get out in the sun if there is any.
Anyone want to come work my job and do mychores??? I am taking offers!!! I need to relax..kick back...get a tan!!! Where are the sugar daddy's?????? This independant working woman stuff is CRAP!
OK...rant over!
The food is little and the hunger pains are big!! The glutes/hams and lower back are starting to tighen up so much from all the cardio that I am slow moving in the morning and the little emotional moods are cropp[in gup...I guess all this means that the show is gettingclose!!?? I feel like I look small and smooth...I guess everything must be right on target then...right!??lol
I need to really remember what my web guy told me today...that the whole reason I am competing this year and how Ihave gotten here are totally different than many that will be there...just getting this far is an honor and an accomplishment..gracing the stage with the level of athlete is just unimaginable!!! I will have an awesome time...it will be something I remember the rest of my life and a great story to tell my grandchildren (well maybe my friends grandchildren??)I willl go to Europa next week to suppor the women, get motivated and inspired to make my pro debut (notice i didn't say scared)...my head will be straight and it will be an awesome journey!!! I also have to figure out how to keep this 6 week out body ...I like it best!! (I guess that is a no brainer...starvation and tons of cardio!)

I miss my family in NH and I miss Sue and her boys next door...but they come home from their summer away this Sunday so at least they will be around (so will all the food they carry with them!!!yikes!)I am feeling the need to be social, visit with friends and family, cook meals and be domestic...oh-oh!!!! That doesn't sound good, must be the dileria setting in from no food!!!

OK all...best I getta goin!
Peace out
C
PS: For anyone in my area; I will be featured on the Channel 40 news on 8/21/ at 5:30 during the sports.

2006-08-14T06:40:00.000-07:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

Morning all!!! Hope it is a sunny MOnday wherever you are!!

I had a real laid back weekend. I did a lot of chores, brought mo to the stores, did some gardening, watered the lawn, did laundry, cooking, cleaning and ..FINALY GOT TO THE BEACH FOR THE DAY ON SUNDAY! I just laid around and did NOTHING all day! I need about 3 more days being nurished by the sun!!!
It felt great not to do anyting but make my food and do my cardio! I have read thorugh all my magazines and 2 books so you know that cardio is starting to take it's tool but as long as I have something to keep my mind off the cardio itself it is cool..I have found myself doing extra cardio sometimes if I am into what I am reading. It has been so nice out that I did some cardio outside..evethough it is tougher on my shins and feet it feels good to feel the fresh air and sunshine!
Last week Tim upped my carbs through the whole weeka nd I got a sushi cheat on Friday (which I took alone as there was no one around to eat dinner with me!). Today the carbs go back to 50 g for the day. I guess whatever energy I had will be kinda gone?? I feel like I have plateaued again but I guess everyone ele feels like I have tightened up? Who knows??
I finaly got a new printer this weekend too..it was tax free shopping weeekend so I figured...better now than never..I got a photsmart printer so I can print pics right off my computer and once I get a new camera I can put the memory card or camera right into the printer without my computer! Now I jnow what you all are thinking..I never can figure this technology out? WEll..people, have faith! I am gonna figure this stuff out..watch! I just may need a few days of not working the day job (since I stil don't have things hooked up!)!!

OK all...gotta go to real work! ugh!!!
Have a great day
Ciao
C

2006-08-07T06:11:00.000-07:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

Here we are on a MONDAY again!!!! I feel like I never left this place nor have stopped working!!! The weather broke this weekend and it was the PERFECT summer weekend. Wehre was I you ask????? In several different malls throughout MA & CT doing Vyotech Demos!!! Yes, that' right folks...double cardios, low calories and worked ALL weekend!!! One good thing however is that since Vyotech has finally brought it's fat burners out for women and I am looking lean...I sold them in every store and yesterday I sold out!!!! Now I just need some travel expenses and maybe I will feel better about spending my weekend free time working!!!! Sorry for the rant...I am a bit tired I guess!

So it was my first weekend home since the beginning of July...got only a little bit of chores done around my house since I worked all weekend. I did celebrate my birthday with my aprents yesterday! They are soooo sweet...cooked me a filet ont he grill and steamed veggies... no cake (not even for them) and of course they are sooo generous with me and what they give me!!! I am so blessed to have them with me still....this is whey I am still here in the Northeast...braving the winters and boredom...to be with them!!!

Hoepfully this weeke witll be a little more low key..still gotta work my day job and train my clients andmyself but...no plans to go anywehre or do any work this weekend. Maybe I can get to the beach????Watch it rain!! The forcast is actually predicting a sunny dry weekend as it is raining today...I guess we will have to wait and see!!

I miss Sue and the boys...they will be home in a couple weeks though and I haven't gotten up to Maine yet???!!!

Debbie Bramwell will be sharing expenses with me at teh Europa...she just made her plans to come in so that should be cool. We will both be dieting and doing cardio so it will be easy to be room mates!!! I am really excited to se thegirls and support them!!
OK all...I gotta go to work!! Have a sunny Monday!
C

2006-08-03T06:52:00.000-07:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

Well we are int he middle of a heat wave like New England has never seen!!!! They are keeping the seniors in and closing the day care centers!!! It's pretty crazy. I got home from Vegas and it was as hot here as there so it didn't seem to extreme to me but...since I only have AC in my bedroom and kitchen it's pretty claustrophobic in the rest of my house!! I have been doing my cardio like normal...first thing int he am on my friends treadmill next door. She has the treadmill in her basement which is normally cool without AC but lately it is just downright DAMP! I feel like I can feel the mold just crawling on me as I am down there...I might have to suck it up and go to the gym tomorrow (that means up a half hour earlier!)
I have been trying to catch up on my sleep and just when I feel somewhat normal I get tired! I even fell asleep during my deep tissue massage last night. Normaly ther eis no way I can do that as my massage thereapist goes very deep and it usually hurts a bit! I couldn't even talk I was so out of it!!! Either I am getting too old for Vegas or I can't stay up late like I used to!!!! LOL
So it's Thursday and I have pretty much trained on schedule. I want to try to hit the gym at lunch time over the next couple days as I have demos for Vyotech this weekend and that will cut into my after work time!! Boy, I wished I could just go to the beach and lounge around for a weekend. Sue and her boys (my best friend next door who is like my sister) have been gone all summer to Maine and they want me to go up. I want to go so bad but first I have to find the time and second I have to mentally prepare myself as all they do up there is EAT!!!!! Not necessarily junk either but when you are lounging around and a bit bored that's what you want to do...EAT!!! So anyway..I have to look at teh schedule and see??? I miss them a ton that's for sure. I get a kid fix everyday from seeing them next door and it's real quiet without them around!!!!
OK all..time to get to work!!

Fill your day with positive light and stay cool!
Ciao
C

2006-08-01T19:17:00.000-07:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

I'M BAAAACK! Good Lord. It is as hot here as it was in Vegas!! Just home from the USA's weekend~ WOW!

Got there last Thursday to find out that the hotel had NO airconditioning. Yes, people, It was HOT!!! They were "working on it" I kept being told and it did get better but the first 2 days were...pretty DAMN HOT!!!! Not that it isn't bad en ough to walk outside and feel like a hot blow dryer was hitting your face but you felt the same thing when you opened the door to your room!!! WE got through it though..weigh-ins, prejudgeing ( over 350 athletes' 190 of which were figure!) and the finals on Saturday night. I kept on target until Saturday at which point I only got one cardio in. I stuck to the diet though and was handsomely rewarded with 2 cheat meals on Sunday and one on Monday. Tim is happhy with how I am looking He feels I am on target and after this week of going back down to low carbs he wants to cycle my carbs. That will be a bit different. I am anxious to see how it works.
The show was a good one. The athletes were off the chain. The overall winner was Omar Deckard and MIchael ERgas got the second pro card. For the women, Heather Policky won the overall and IFBB pro status. She looked the best I have seen her. She just missed the overall last year and lost to Amanda Dunbar so I am sure she was happy with this victory. I amnot sure about the figure girls or how they placed. Except the a Brandie looked the best I have seen her and she took a 14th. I think the figure girls looked better at this show than any other one all year. I am not sure why but they were on target more than ever.
My bella Lana came in on Friday and stayed with me. She is an angle and I love her. I am so blessed that God has crossed our paths. She set up a great party on Saturday night at Mix which is located in The Hotel. It was an awesome set up and the peoples were in rare form. Lana, Leighanna, Q, Me, NIcki, Dave, MIke MOrris and Nida, a few competitors, Debbie Bramwell and her people, Phil Heath and is girl, Hany and Dana and Ray Arde and his girl all showed up later. PEople jsut kept coming in. It was a blast. We carried the party over to an after hours place called the Empire. Before you know it Gary Strydom joined the party and it was day light! That's how it happens in Vegas!!! Some people left there and were going to REHAB at the Hardrock...no way!!! I had to get some sleep!
Tim and Brandie met up with me, NIcki and Dave Henry to buy us birthday lunch. My first cheat meal; Cheeseburgers! It was awesome to spend time with Tim and Brandie...they are great people and so happy together. Tey even brought me and NIcki gifts. They are so cute!!!WE strolled around the Dessert Passage mall for a bit before heading back to the hotels to take a nap and get ready for our night out. We met up later and had dinner at Sensi in the Bellagio and then went to see "O". It was awesome...like an acid trip. So creative and different. It was an awesome way to celebrate our birthays. By the time we got out it was passed midnight so it was officialy our bitthday so we went and got cake and coffee. Lord knows we didn't need another drink! It was a special night out with my Leo sister and her man and Lana Dora!!! Mom Salotti bought the dinner. I am so blessed. Lana really got to know Nicki and Dave and I am happy about that. I have a feelign me and Lana will be friends for a long time!
Monday rolled around and it was just a lazy day. I was back on track with the diet and cardio. Lounged around by the pool with Lana. Mike and Nida until we had to check out. Boy I couldn't used a few more days of that I tell ya!!! Once Kimo came to get Lana, I left with Dave and Nicki and we went to train at teh Golds and I did another cardio. We then took showers and went out for my last cheat meal and our true birthday dinner!!! Don't ask me why but I thought that the Pink Taco would be a cool place to go. HOmemade margaritas and fresh food. Well halfway through dinner I started getting astomach ache...bad idea to have Mexican food and tequila!!!! Especialy since I can't tell you the last time I had it!! I had to go back to Nicki and DAve
s room before they brought me to the airport! I was miserable but I got on the red eye and here I am!!! I feel a bit better now but still exhuasted!!!
I gotta say ..one of the highlights of my trip was training at Gold's on Friday while Mimi Jabalee was putting Colette Nelson through a leg workout. Colette is 4 weeks out form the Europa and boy was it motivating to watch them work!! I got so jazzed that I was flying 40 lb. dumb bells like nothing!! Amanda Dunbar was there too. Thre was electricity in the air!! I wished I had people like that aroudn mroe. It's so motivating. MImi told me when I go to Atlanta to visit my friends that I will have to call them to train!! I was like..ABSOLUTELY. she doens't need to tell me twice!!
On a whole it was a great eekend...great friends...hard work...tons of motivation..lots of "deep" conversations..friendships made solid..a couple relaxing moments (wished I could say whole days!).
BACK TO REALITY!
Until later
Peace
C

2006-07-26T20:05:00.000-07:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

I have been trying to blog since last weekend from Teen/Masters Nats but it kept getting kicked out??? I guess it is working now however I lost tons of material.

Just a quick recap: Congrats to my boy Alberto taking a 3rd in his first National level show and to Shelly (4th) and Debbie (1st). They all are champions and looked fantastic!! E had a blast hanign out together in Pittsburg; training with BOUNCE and hanging out with Big bill, Jennifer, Krissy Murrell, GeneX among others. Met new people from Mayehm; Gerry T, Meredith, AJ Simms and Chris Rice (colliegent champ. Visited with Dena Westerfield, Colette Nelson and Dave Palumbo. It exciting to see the girls getting ready for Europa and then we will all be on stage together. Lots of fun in Pitts..looking forward to Vegas and my birhtday!

Which leads me into....I leave tomorrow for Vegas for the USA's. Nicki will be driving in with Dave andmeetingme there. She has been gone since the 19th and is loving AZ!!! So happy for her. I have a feeling it will be a whirlwind of excitement there. We work our regualr Protan gig and will be trying to party a bit as it is OUR birthday! We are going to see "O" by Cirque Deli Solie on Sunday night. Hoepflly get some pool time in on Sunday and Monday. Lana gets in on Friday and will hang with us the rest of the time. It should be a blast.I am really looking forward to it. I will see Tim and Brandie as she is ocmpeting but it will be great to see them in person!! I always love to see them. Of course all this will go down with me still doing my cardios, training an ddieting (unless I get a cheat!!).
I will be 8 weeks out for Atlantic City! I am really starting to get excited. I am glad I am not doing the Europa..too much pressure with all the travel and I want it to be fun. My heart was into debuting in Atlantic City!! so I followed my heart! I have gotten such a good reception form the other female pros so far. Probably cuz I am so small I am not a threat. They are really welcoming and cool. Joanna Thomas emailed me today and said that I need to keep myself looking jus tlike I do. She thinks it's the perfect look for FBB. She is bringing her look down to match! She said she would love to stand on the ARnold stage with me...THE ARNOLD STAGE!!!! That is just a crazy thought! She is so cool to say that to me!
I was training legs today and in between sets of squats, my heart was racing. I could feel it pounding in my chest and my muscles all felt tight. I said to myself: "I feel like I am getting ready for a BB show!"> WOW!!!!! Feeling good!
I may have an opportunity to go to the North Americans but I am not sure I want to travel a week out. I won't have to work so it would be an easytrip. My girl Shelly is doing it among others. I guess I will have to see how I feel. God only knows I worked a protan gig one weekout from Masters Nats and won the whole thing.
Anyway..maynot check in until I get home...have a great weekend everyone!! Holla on the 31st!!!!!
Ciao
c

2006-07-26T19:52:00.000-07:00

Carla's Online Web Journal
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2006-07-19T08:17:00.000-07:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

OK...one more day to go and it's off to Pitts for Teens/Masters Nats!!! My boy, Alberto is looking awesome! He will definately do some damage although there will be lots of competition at this show! He is on target and Trop is doing an awesome job drying him out and keepinghim full!!! I am very excited to see him up onstage with AJ Simms and others!!!!

I tried to log on last night but couldn't...I had just finished making Shelly's granola and my kitchen was blazing hot!! Of course the temp yesterday didn't help...it must have been over 100 degrees up here in the northeast. It is a much nicer day today, sunny,hot,not as humid. Perfect summer weather!!!

My girl, Nicki, leaves today for 3 weeks in Tucson...the first leg of her move out there to be with her man, Dave Henry!! God, will I miss her!!! I sent out a care package of granola for Dave too! I pray she has good weather as they have had bad storms out there. I will seen her in aweek and a day in Vegas so not too bad!! She is embarking on a whole new life...always my dream...I can at least sit back and live vicariously through her...how scary and exciting!!!
I can't wait to see how this chapter unfolds!!!!

Life is like a novel sometimes...while you are going thorugh it it seems so painful or joyful and then when you look back at it it sometimes just seems sur-real?? It's a wonder that is for sure...living in the moment, enjoying the JOURNEY...taking happiness where you can...not being afraid to take risks...all things I remind myself of daily!!!

Training -wise I am hitting shoulders, hams and quads as PRIORITIES per order of Tim. I have gotten in all my cardios..things are rolling along. There are some moments when I am STARVING and others when I could care less about eating. I went home form work yesterday and laid down to rest and woke up 2 hours later!!!! My body just needs the rest, even more withlow calories...Steve Wennerstrom called my the energizer bunny...NOT!!!!!! Gosh, if I could stay in my bed for a couple days it would feel great!!!

OK - I will check in over weekend as Alberto will have his laptop!!!
Enjoy the sun!
C

2006-07-17T09:38:00.000-07:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

Home Crap Home!!!!

Here we are again...MONDAY!!!!! It's a hot, humid, bright summer day in the northeast! The only place to be today is at the BEACH!!!!!!...but I am here at work! Anyway...it was a busy work weekend in NYC at the TEAM UNIVERSE! We worked our butts off (not quite but getting there), had a couple late nights, did cardio and dieted all in between!!
We arrived in NYC on Thursday just in time to check in, do cardio and get to weigh-ins at the host hotel (Millinieum). The beauty of staying at the Embassy Suites is that it is right on Battery Park and a great place for cardio, beautiful gardens, clean walk ways, great scenery, cool breeze off the Hudson and the Lady Liberty watching over!! It really made early morning cardio a lot more pleasant especially after wroking so hard and being so tired!!

Of course we met up with our backstage crew at the host hotel...set things up and hung out selling product. Steve Weinberger and Bev Francis seemed to be somewhat entertained by us and our high energy levels!! They are actually quite funny as well...nice peeps!! The whole NY crew was there which is awesome..Steve Stone and wife Andrea, Yvonne, Arnie, Rob and Kim Klien, Matt and Mark...this stuff definately wouldn't be as much fun without this crew!! So weigh-ins went off without a hitch.
Nicki and I were able to get out to see Rob Lopez Thursday night at his job and enjoy a few laughs!! He's awesome!! Friday found more time at weigh-ins and a little relaxing in the afternoon...nap on a great park bench in the sun and a little sushi lunch before we had to get to work. Friday night was men bodybuilding and womens' pro figure. The pros are awesome...many remembering me from when they were amatuers or the other pro shows I've done Jen Searles and Tara Scotti led the pack. Tara hosted the after party and she called me "Salotti" all weeeknd so I called her "Scotti"! From one goombah to another!!! Jessica Paxon won the show. Michelle Flake, God Bless her, was in a bit of a panic as she wasn't dark enough but we got her all fixed up!!! The men...they were great quality..lots of muscle and great conditioning all around! However there wer only 47 of them.. numbers were low there! Friday night was much more relaxing than Saturday as there were a lot less people to work on!!!

Saturday however was a different story. After my 5:30 am cardio we headed off to the venue to deal with the 147 figure girls, 37 fitness and several female BB. The lines of bedazzeled beauties seemed unending!!!! As NIcki said..."they seem to be multiplying!" WE didn't get out of there until 3 pm. I couldn't wait to hit the bed for an hour rest...need less to say there was no second cardio that day!!! We had to return to the venue for the night show by 6 and ALL the figure girls were brought out at the beginning of the show!! That meant they were ALL in OUR oiling area AT ONCE!!! It was a bit overwhelming for sure!! ALL the girls went first so the poor male BB didn't have us at our freshest!!! Our helpers left after the women were done...thank God they were there for them at least.
I tripped over a backstage light behind the curtain in attempt to make sure all the figure pros had bikini bite...of course there was a huge noise, expediters came running, I burnt my finger holding onto the hot lamp because I didn't want it to drop and break..the girls were hysterical!!!! Oh well...all in a days work, right!?
All this on a couple oz. of chicken every couple hours and 50 grams of carbs all day!!! To be honest, I was so busy and tired I almost didn't even want to eat! But I would be lying if I said I wasn't starving most of the time!!!!! All the Ephedra in the world didn't curb the appetite!
Anyway, after a successful show we headed off to Tara Scotti's after party...DJ Rob Lopez was spinning so we had to go to support eventhough I could have hit the bed and been just fine!!!! I don't think there were as many people there as last year but we eneded up having a great time anyway. JM was on a mission to get as many incriminating pictures as possible so God only knows where those will surface!! We had fun baiting him though!! Besides Jm, Gene was there among a few others snapping pics of the crowd. Some friends from home showed up; Muscle mania pro, Morris Mendez and his friends Junior and Darvon. Angela & Grace who had competed were there as well as numerous other competitors. Wendell Flyodd was there but he left his beautiful sister, Cassandra home. They both had competed and placed third in their classes!! The music was banging and the crowd was happy!!

Sunday saw another beautiful weather day! My cardio was a little slower paced I am afaid, as my feet and legs ached sooo bad and I was still so tired!!!! I did manage to get both my cardios in on Sunday but I hit the bed at home by 8:30 pm!!!
So now back to a 3 day work week to get ready to go to Teen/Masters nats on Thursday!!!'
Hopefully I will be re-rested by then!!
Peace out
C

2006-07-12T06:23:00.000-07:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

Happy HUMP day!!!

Yesterday was an overwhleming day for me..I had so much to do at my day job it was ridiculous, train the people after work and train myself, do double cardios and make sure I had all my DIET food for the day. I never got home till after 8:30. The biggest stress was that I had to take mom to the drs. I guess the stress of wondering what he was going to say really was wearing on me! I almost was having anxiety attacks as the day progressed, shortness of breath, couldn't stand being in my own skin...I didn't realize that I was really just scared. Scared that he would say she was worse than she was. It isn't easy seeing your mother deteriorate before your eyes, lose weight, have no energy, become a shell of her previous fiesty self...but after the appointment I felt sooo much better (and so did she). Apparently she has a touch of penumonia. That could be a huge reason why she has been having such difficulty lately but the symptoms weren't the normal ones that we are used to treating on our own! She also admitted to being very depressed and has agreed to go on an antidepressant. Between the O2 medicine (steroids) and the prozac hopefully her appetite will increase and we can get some weight back on her or at least get her strength up!!! I got into the gym after the appointment and trained super intense (hams and bis) for 30 minutes. Ifelt so much better after!!!! I feel like I can go to Team U this weekend and not worry so much!
Today is huid and cloudy..it's supposed to be floodingtype rains today! I have another full day at work and after work an then willb e getting ready to leave for NYC tmorrow. At least this is the last of 3 terribly busy days!!!!! I wihsed I didn't have to work my day job! It would take so much stress off me...besides just the owrk itself , the head trip that goes along with it is too draining. I definately ahv COMPASSION FATIGUE!!!! When it comes to hear everyone's tragedy and excuses it really drags me down. I try very hard to be positive and light but it's full time struggle to do so when you are around people who always feel hopeless..it's almost like a contagious disease that spreads fromthem if you sta;y around them too long!!! Anyway, today is the last of that and then the rest of the week can be POSITIVE AND LGIHT!!!!!!!!

In case I don't get back on a computer while I am gone..have agreat weekend everyone...FIND SOME SUN!
C

2006-07-10T08:30:00.000-07:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

Hey all!!

I can't believe it's been a whole week since I blogged!! I have been really busy!!! Mom has been sick and so between the double cardios, full time job and low calories I have beenover to her house daily with treats trying to get her to eat. We celebrated her birthday early last night and I cooked a feast for her...she ate it all. It' s pretty scary seeing your mom deteriorate before your eyes and not have enough energy to care about it! It really has been wearing on me. I just hope she can recover enough to get to Atlantic City to see me compete?

The good news this weekend was that I have finally broken the plateau and have dropped 4 lbs. Weighing in at 118 and feeling sooo much better about how I look!!! By 115 I should be photo shoot ready. I'll tell ya what...it really is motivating to keep it up when you see the results!!

Me and & Nicki traveled to Staten Island on Saturday to work the Kim Klien Empire State BB, Fitness and Figure show. It was a small show but so well run! It's always great to spend time with our friends; Steve, Andrea, Kim, Rob, their parents, Yvonne, Matt, etc.....the whole crew! Rob and Kim are very generous with the staff and get a nice suite where we can relax and have nibbles and drinks in between shows!! The ride home was a bit long and very tiring but I really wanted to get home so I could spend Sunday with my mom!!!

So..this is a short work week but super busy. I work my day job, have two clients on Tuesday and WEd, bring my mom to the dr. and train myself as well as prepare (pack, cook, etc..) for traveling to Team U this weekend to work for Protan. It's gonna fly!
in the meantime...it's beuatiful summer weather...weather that makes you want to be at a beach house , chilling in the sun with a nice tall Mojito~~~~someday!
Ciao
C

2006-07-03T10:11:00.000-07:00

Carla's Online Web Journal

It's a beautiful MONDAY!! Totally summertime weather here in the northesast!!! I really wished it could be like this ALL the time! Maybe I wouldn't appreciate it so much if it were?? Everyone I know is at teh beach or "OFF" for the summer!
I have worked all weekend doing demos for Vyotech at area malls, doing house chores, double cardios and dieting my butt off!!! Working today all day at my day job in the office and finally a day off tomorrow!
I am starting to notice a difference in my physique. The doubles and strict diet are paying off. I am glad cuz I would rather coast in than suffer the WHOLE time. I will keep this up in hopes of having a SPLURGE in VEGAS for my birthday weekend! If I am not ready to compete at the Europa I am feeling like I should at least go to support the other women and the show!! One thing at a time....
Not a lot of exciting things going on as I am home but A LOT of domestic settling & organizing and ALONE time. Everything I have been doing this weekend has been alone 9for the most part). After 3 weekends home in a row things should be in order at home so I can take off for 3 weekends in a row and leave a mess in between!! Sometimes I think this life is CRAZY but what else would I be doing, right? Lounging around getting chubby with my friends and family, making excuses for not being in shape, "settling" for a mundance existance? Who knows, for now, this is what I choose to do...stay busy....keep in shape....travel as much as I can!
I am a bit worried though, mom is not feeling well at all. It is difficult for her to walk from one room to the next without feeling faint and having a hard time breathing. The doctor told her that this is the natural progression of her emyphazema. This was a surprise to her eventhough she has already been told this. I hate to see her feel defeated about "fighting" to enjoy life. I am not sure how to make things more interesting for her besides just lounging around the house with her. I feel like it is my responsibility to 'entertain" her. I know that I need to cherish all the time we have left but I also hate to dwell on the outcome!! I want to just help her enjoy life! What life lessons we have to learn along the way...
Hope your life lessons today are light hearted!!
Peace
C